Hitting My Stride

Mean people suck

2012-01-29T23:09:00.002-06:00

I have spent the past week mentally hiding under the covers. Do you notice that in the parts of the internet world that you visit, things happen in waves? Or is that just me? On the good days, everything I read, every site I visit, it's funny and happy and I feel better for having spent those hours merrily clicking around.

But on the bad days, I click around and suddenly find myself in The Bad Part of Town. One minute I'm reading about a recipe that I might like to try, because I will never let go of the notion that one day I will call a truce with food and we will actually have a good and healthy relationship. Then, the next minute I've found myself on some site that is bashing everything about the internet, blogging, bloggers who are on the internet and birds. Who hates birds?!?!

I hate when that happens. It takes the wind out of my sails. It makes me want to stop blogging for fear that I'll end up on those sites, with anonymous people ripping apart my life simply because I feel compelled to write and share. I have a thick skin and I can give as good as I get, but doing that is never satisfying. Verbally cutting someone to the bone never feels as good as you think it will when you play it out in your head. Those cool one-liners, those zingers, that snark (which is a word I've really had enough of) always seem to fall flat when they hit the air.

I'm tired of mean people. I'm tired of people hiding behind their 'anonymous' shields and being just plain hateful because no one can look into their eyes. It's really hard to look someone in the face and deliver your cool, biting one-liner and then pat yourself on the back when you can see their shoulders slump, the light leaving their eyes. So instead we get on our computers and get all 'Mean Girl' on people because you don't have to see their eyes when you type out your mean comment that probably took you twenty minutes and countless backspaces to get it right. Then again, maybe not. Maybe the mean-ness is right there at your fingertips, just waiting for the moment to pounce. Either way, it's gross.

I hate being reminded that the world is an ugly place. I hate remembering that people sometimes suck.

Blogging/writing is fun for me and I treasure the friends that I've made through our blogs. But honestly, clicking around and finding all the trash and the hate and the general ugliness out there has really made me want to just close my computer and never open it again.

But of course, I haven't. I've been feeling this way for days now, swearing I wouldn't bother writing about it because who cares that I'm whining that people are mean on the internet. Color me naive, but I was really shocked that there are so many websites devoted to ripping apart other bloggers and their lives, whether they write about fashion, lifestyle, cooking or birds. And there are so many comments on these sites, all chiming in with their mob mentality. I was just so turned off, but like a fool, I kept reading and kept clicking and getting sadder by the moment. It made me want to take my ball and go home.

What benefit is there to being mean for being mean's sake? Why do people suck?

Birthday prep: Decorations

2012-01-23T12:04:00.000-06:00

Sofia's birthday party is in 75 days, but who's counting? My baby will be one.

..........

Okay, I'm back. Had to wail and gnash the teeth, you know how that goes. I am so excited for her birthday and the planning has already begun. If you follow me on Pinterest, you'll see all the ideas I have and the theme I've chosen. If you don't follow me or if you haven't been introduced to the fabulous time-suck that is Pinterest, here are a couple of pictures.

I've rented this chair for her photoshoot for her invitations.

Image courtesy Rent My Dust

I'm going for a garden party theme - here's hoping I can pull it off!

Image courtesy Hostess Blog

But the thing I was most excited about were the mobiles. I wanted to do them for my baby shower in Dallas but I was too intimidated to make them because it involved sewing and I ran out of time to gather my courage. If I knew then what I know now, I would scoff at myself. SELF! I would say, This is so flippin easy! What are you so scared of?!

So pretty and so easy!

Image courtesy Apartment Therapy

I found a paper store, bought some vellum and the package sat in my house for over a week because I was so nervous. Finally, this Saturday I got it together and with some moral support from Drew, I dove in.

I bought one sheet of every color they had because

I didn't know what combination I'd like best.

I pulled out my handy paper cutter from my scrapbooking days.

I eyeballed the length and cut roughly one-inch strips.

Can I say what a beautiful world it is when your baby naps?

Then we laid out possible combinations.

"Now, this particular layout will provide optimal aesthetic value."

You guys! It was so easy to do! One straight stitch down the middle and you've got an awesome hanging mobile!

Me: Eeeee! It worked! But I need better light.

Him: *siiiiiggggghhh*

Me: That's a little better, but I need to see them all together.

Him: *walking out of the room*

Me: Baaabe! Where you going? Whatever.

I can admire my handiwork my own self.

The bottom definitely needs a little weight of some sort to keep the last strip from curling.

I'm looking for some little crystals or even little charms

with her initials - that would be so cute!

Plus, they move so pretty and zen-like!

I'm so crafty from Desiree on Vimeo.

Oh yes, I took a video.

I am *that* proud of my accomplishment.

I used mostly the pastel sheets for the mobiles, but I made some with the brights just to see how they'd look.

Even though it's pretty, the red and orange don't say

'garden party' to me.

And since I was on a crafty roll and I had my scrapbooking stuff out, I went ahead and made a Baby Sleeping sign.

I think it conveys the point.

The mobiles were so inexpensive and so easy to make that it's safe to say that there are going to be roughly a billion of them hanging from every possible surface for her party. I'm not sure of other decorations yet, but this one is a go!

Next up, The Cake. Yup, I'm going to try my hand at making her cake. I might even try some cake pops again, you never know!

Attempted murder, infanticide, elective surrogacy and mommy guilt: A children's story

2012-01-20T00:31:00.000-06:00

At my baby shower, I used books as centerpieces.

I bought some and received some as gifts.

my inspiration photo

*And I just spent five minutes re-reading my post about it.

My baby shower was this time last year. Whoa.

I love having a little library for Sofia and I'm even more excited that she's starting to show interest in books. During our playtime slash learning time (courtesy of The Schedule) I've started reading out loud to Sofia while she plays with her blocks and she's actually starting to pay attention! Before now, I hadn't really paid attention to the books that she has because I couldn't get her to sit still long enough to read them to her so they were mostly for show.

This is why I didn't know I had a children's book about attempted murder, infanticide, elective surrogacy and mommy guilt sitting on our living room shelf.

Sofia was sitting on the floor, innocently banging her blocks together and I innocently chose a book from the shelf. Beatrix Potter, aww! Peter Rabbit, aww! Look Sofia! Mommy's going to read you a Beatrix Potter book!

No - Mommy's going to freak the F out.

Have you read The Tale of Jemima Puddle-Duck? That shit is CRAZY!!

Lookin all innocent.

All lies!!

My girl Jemima just wants to be a mom, but the farmer keeps taking her eggs and won't let her hatch them. Only a few sentences in and I gasped. "She just wants to be a mom! Bitch-ass farmer keeps taking her eggs!"

Jemima's sister-in-law doesn't see what the big deal is and looks down her nose, er, beak at Jemima, talkin shit like Hatching your own eggs is stupid and you wouldn't catch me doing that shit. Besides, you're not the brightest Jemima. You'd let them go cold, you know you would!

I found myself getting mad at Rebeccah Puddle-Duck. "Oh, so you're not even too posh to push, you're too posh to even carry! And get off Jemima! If she wants to hatch her own eggs let her, you tramp!"

Jemima even tried to hide her eggs from the farmer so she could hatch them because she just wants to be a mom! but the farmer kept finding them and taking them from her. So she runs away, so the damn farmer will quit taking her eggs.

By now I'm entrenched. I was still reading out loud to the baby, but she had lost interest and had crawled away. I kept an eye on her and kept on reading out loud. I was rooting for Jemima. I wanted her to be a mom.

So, Jemima ran away to find a safe place where she could lay her eggs and hatch them herself. She found a nice spot, and came across "an elegantly dressed gentleman" with "prick ears and sandy coloured whiskers."

Don't fall for it girl!

It's always the well-dressed ones!

He was all suave and debonair, asking if she lost her way, if he might be of assistance. Mmm-HMM. WTF-ever. Jemima told him about her bitch-ass sister-in-law and he was all "I would never let anyone talk to you like that." "Do you need a place to lay your eggs? As a matter of fact, I have a place you can stay, just around the corner."

I started yelling at the book in my mind, so my daughter wouldn't think I was too crazy.

GIIIIRRRRL! Don't be stupid! Isn't it just a little too convenient that he's got a place where you can stay? It's all run-down and scabby looking! Talkin bout 'this is his summer home.' That's what they all say! Red flag, girl, Red Flag!!!

He showed her to the shed! out back! not even the main house! where she can 'stay as long as she'd like' and it's knee-deep in feathers. Duck feathers. But poor Jemima doesn't even see it.

"The shed was almost quite full of feathers - it was almost suffocating(!!!!!); but it was comfortable and very soft."

"Jemima Puddle-duck was rather surprised to find such a vast quantity of feathers."

I was scared for Jemima Puddle-duck. This wasn't right and she didn't even see it! For god's sake, the 'gentleman' told her to her face that he loved eggs and ducklings! How could she not see what was happening?

But I get it. Her desire to hatch her own eggs and be a mom clouded everything else. Poor Jemima Puddle-duck.

She laid her eggs and the "foxy gentleman admired them immensely." (Get your grubby hands off her eggs, you bastard!) She even told him that she was going to sit on her eggs the next day, and even bring food so she wouldn't have to leave because she wanted to make sure her eggs didn't catch cold.

I caught a sob at that, because I'm sure she heard her nagging, bitch-ass sister-in-law's voice in her head and she wanted to make double sure she did a good job.

And of course the fox was all "I got you baby. You don't even have to worry about all that. I got some tasty-ass oats right here! But before you start all that hard work of sitting on your eggs for 28 days straight, why don't you let me treat you to a nice dinner? Just the two of us! I love the way the sunlight hits your feathers. Is that too forward of me? I apologize, it's just the way your beak mesmerizes me, I forget my manners. Where was I? Oh yes, dinner! Just the two of us! Why don't you be a peach and gather some herbs for an omelette? And how about some mint and parsley and onions and sage? Won't that be nice? I'll pick up a nice bottle of wine. Of course, if that's all right with you."

I was screaming at her now - in my mind. "JEMIMA! Are you listening?! Omelettes? Herbs for stuffing a roast duck?!?! Come on girl! Don't be swayed by the nice clothes and the smooth voice. This muhf*cka's bout to kill you!!"

But she didn't listen. Off she goes, gathering herbs "for dinner." She probably went and got her hair done too, maybe a mani/pedi. So she'll look nice for their "special dinner." Oh Jemima.

She went back to the farm she ran away from to get the onions and came across the farm dog. He was all "where you been girl?" And she was like "I met this guy and he's so handsome and well-dressed and he's nice to me. He's letting me stay with him so I can hatch my eggs."

Thank GAWD the dog was like "hmmm, something doesn't sound right. Tell me EVERYTHING."

But then HIS stupid ass was just looking for a fight! He didn't really want to help Jemima! He wasn't thinking about her! So the farm dog went down into the village to get his boys, two stupid thug puppies, to go after the fox.

Meanwhile, Jemima came back to the house with the herbs and things, and THIS shifty bastard is all nervous and jittery, sniffing the air and looking all uneasy. He jumps when Jemima comes up and is all short with her.

"Come into the house as soon as you have looked at your eggs. Give me the herbs for the omelette. Be sharp!"

Jemima Puddle-duck had never heard him speak like that. She felt surprised, and uncomfortable."

Are you fucking kidding me? This is a got damb LIFETIME MOVIE!

She went inside the house and just then, the farm dog and the thug puppies showed up. They sniffed at the bottom of the door, and then locked her in. The FUCK!?

Horrible death-noises ensued and that was it for the fox. The farm dog unlocked the door and let Jemima out, but the thug puppies had gotten in the shed where she was staying and had eaten all her eggs.

Me, yelling in my mind: Beatrix Potter, you are not serious right now.

Poor Jemima had to be escorted back to the farm she ran away from because she was so distraught over her eggs. Of course she is! Thug puppies killed her babies!

She laid more eggs that they let her keep (gee thanks, fucking farmers. She's scarred for life but you think more babies will make up for it and make her forget the other ones. SUUURE.)

And here's the kicker: It says "only four of them hatched." So she had more, but some didn't make it. Can Jemima Puddle-duck please catch a break? DAMN.

How's this for the closing paragraph of the story?

"Jemima Puddle-duck said that it was because of her nerves; but she had always been a bad sitter."

She blamed herself for everything that happened.

What. The SHIT?!?! This is a children's book?! Are you kidding me? And here I was thinking that All My Friends Are Dead was the weirdest gift I got at the shower.

Dude, you got nothin on Jemima.

I closed the book, feeling so bad for Jemima, wondering what the blue-blooded hell Beatrix Potter was thinking when she wrote this book and what the hell happened to her that these self-esteem issues were manifesting themselves in her characters. And who thought this was a good story? Who said hey let's publish and distribute this for children? I started wondering what the hell other books I have in Sofia's library and made a mental note to scan her bookcase tomorrow.

PS, what the hell other books do I need to watch out for? The last thing I need is to be reading to my daughter and end up throwing the book across the room, yelling about how she needs to open your f*cking EYES woman!

From now on, we're totally sticking to Goodnight Moon.

The shed-yule

2012-01-18T01:09:00.000-06:00

L'horaire. El horario. Sked-chull. Sketch-ull. The Almighty Schedule.

It was the magic key that has my baby sleeping through the night. And not five hours, which is commonly accepted as 'through the night.' I'm talking going to bed at 8 and not getting up until seven the next morning. I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't living it. But let me back up.

It was Saturday night and I was sitting in our bedroom, bawling my eyes out. Head in hands, shoulders shaking, bawling. Sofia was in her crib, bawling *her* eyes out. Throat rattling, snot pouring, bawling. It was miserable and something had to give because my baby was tired.

We were at the baby gym and the bubbles were just sitting on her hair.

She looked so cute but she was barely able to keep her eyes open.

They say you shouldn't even think about getting a baby on a schedule until they're at least four to five months. We kinda sorta had a schedule but nighttime was always a battle and she always ended up in bed with us. Naps were sporadic and bedtime was anywhere from 7:30 to 10:30, not by my choice. I could always count on an 11 or midnight waking, followed by a 3-4am waking, followed by bringing her in bed with us because I was so effing tired.

I tried to follow the Ferber method for one night - remember how that turned out? I had a violent physical reaction to her crying and that was it for me. I may be weak, soft, and screwing up my daughter for life, but I cannot deal with her crying. I am physically unable to handle it and since I'm alone more often than not, I won't be trying anytime soon. I don't have anyone to reassure me and hold me while my daughter is screaming and crying her face off, so I had to find a different way.

Unfortunately, the holidays killed any sort of attempt at routine or schedule. We traveled from October until the new year and between hotel rooms, my parent's house and Drew's parent's house, Sofia rarely had a normal bedtime - we just did the best we could. I feel guilty beyond guilty typing that out, but I have seen the error of my ways and trust - it's not going to be like that ever again.

Sunday morning, Drew left for Reading. It was a new day, a new start and it was high time for The Schedule.

Don't. Mess. With The Schedule.

We have lots of playing built into The Schedule because it's time for us to learn things. I found this awesome blog, Play at Home Mom and those tricks are serious! I don't have Environments or Invitations for Sofia, but we sure do stack the hell out of some blocks and I try my hardest to teach her colors. It's only been three days, but I'm pretty sure we're ready to move on to long division.

But seriously, if I wasn't living it I wouldn't believe it but y'all. This shit works. Oh, and the marks above The Schedule? That's our swear chart - no, seriously. I refuse to have the kid that swears and thinks it's funny because they picked it up from Mom and Dad. Presently, I'm winning and we're doing lots better since we started keeping track, but obviously it doesn't apply to the blog. I have to be able to swear somewhere, even though I'm actually trying to lighten that up as well. I'm *totally* going to stop before she can read. PROMISE.

But back to The Schedule. Sunday we followed it to the letter and I got an hour long morning nap and a two hour afternoon nap and I have never gotten a two hour afternoon nap. Granted, I laid down with her but I'm counting it! Bedtime was a little rough because she woke up around 11 and it took me an hour to get her back down, BUT she stayed in her crib the rest of the night!! She didn't wake up until 7:30 the next morning!! That is so major.

Monday, again we followed The Schedule to the letter. This time morning and afternoon naps were shorter, but they happened! At the right time! Bedtime came at 7:45 and when she woke up around 11 again, it took less than an hour to get her back down! When she woke around 3ish, she half-cried for a little while, and put herself back to sleep. That has never ever ever ever ever EVER happened.

Tonight, she was practically begging to go to sleep at 7:45 on the dot and was out cold by 8. A Got Damb Murther Furkin door to door person came at 8 murther furkin o'clock, thereby causing my dog to lose her mind barking and I about lost my shit because of course the baby woke up. After telling the door to door person that I didn't want a Got Damb thing they were selling and very pointedly telling her that She Woke Up My Baby, I went in to soothe her, positive that it would take all night to get her back down.

Five minutes. If that. She was back to sleep and has been asleep ever since. I made myself dinner, I painted my fingers and toes, I watched tv and thanked the baby Jesus for my good fortune.

I know the Varsity Moms are probably rolling their eyes, going duh! Babies need schedules and routines! To which I can only reply, Dooood. My bad! I clearly didn't understand how serious it was to have A Schedule.

Her demeanor and mood is ridiculously improved. She's always been a happy and easy-going kid but now she's rested and she's even happier, and rather than beat myself up that it took me this long to get it together, I'm going to be thankful that it didn't take me longer.

Therefore, this little post is getting filed under 'accomplishments.' One day I do hope to get naps that are longer than an hour in the daytime, but for now I'm going to bask in the fact that my baby is officially sleeping through the night because I thought we'd be doomed to have her in our bed forever. I love my daughter but she actually punched me in the throat Saturday morning. Yeah, it was because she rolled over and flung her arm out, but it woke me out of a dead sleep and that shit hurt! Seriously, we all needed our own space.

The Schedule is not ultra-rigid, it allows for wiggle room and slowly but surely we're working our way up to being able to leave the house for longer periods of time without her falling asleep in the carseat. One thing at a time.

I still don't know what to do with myself and I'm sure that this is a sign of her growing up. She actually cut her first tooth today. *sniff* My baby's growing up.

Okay, so please allow me this moment of being happy and proud and feeling like a good mother. Please don't tell me about how this is all going out the window with the next milestone or some other mean thing like "enjoy it while you can, because wait till they (do whatever thing that will cause them to stop sleeping)."

I need this victory. I need the illusion, if only for a little while.

I need to sleep enough to get the circles under my eyes to fade just a little bit. So.......

My baby's sleeping through the night! Halle-LU-Jah!

Nine

2012-01-12T00:21:00.000-06:00

Sofia is nine months old today. Yes I know that technically, she was nine months old yesterday but I started this on her nine month birthday so I'm counting it.

.......

Okay, I'm back. I had to cry and wail and gnash my teeth at the fact that my kid can do this:

She refused to sit for the picture so I was like, Fine you can stand up but you're totally going to fall over. And then she was like, Fall over? Yeah right. I'll just lean on the sofa and post up. She stood there while I snapped like five pictures before she decided she was done showing me her skills. Then I had to gnash my teeth some more. I can't handle this.

The plague has left the house, thank god, but not before it did a number on me. I was feeling crappy all day Sunday and only ate a bowl of chicken noodle soup at like five in the afternoon because my mother was hounding me. I begged Drew to take the baby with him when he took my mom to the airport, and I'm so glad he did because of course it all came right back up shortly after they left. But thank the baby Jesus, it seemed to be 24 hour thing and now all I have to deal with is the runny nose. Drew is well again, the baby is well so we're back to our routine.

Which includes dinner!

No one is happier than I am that Sofia's food issues appear to have resolved themselves. She pretty much eats everything now and we've had no skin flare-ups. I'm guessing her little system just needed time to further mature before she could handle solids. However, I haven't yet found a food that she loves. So far, she'll eat what I give her but she definitely doesn't get excited about any of it and stops eating after a few bites. I get the distinct sense that she eats to humor me. The doctor said her weight is fine and as long as I continue to nurse on demand, we're in good shape.

Nursing is getting super fun too! Now that she can pull up to standing, her favorite thing to do is crawl over to me, pull up and grab at my shirt. Most of the time I wear v necks or other easy access shirts so it's very easy for her to get to the goods. If I stop her and try to get her to do the sign for 'milk' or 'please' she gets very insistent and starts making the 'hate noises.' One of the moms in my playgroup coined the phrase and it fits perfectly. The kid sounds like she's about to conjure some demons if I don't whip out the boob fast enough. If she were older and not so cute, I would have to discipline her. But at this point it's just funny, although I do tell her that the polite thing is to say please. She could care less.

OH! OH! AND!! The birthday planning has begun!! I've got the invitation idea planned, the photographer booked and I've got my eye on decorations and of course the whole thing is on Pinterest. What did I do with my life before Pinterest? Do you have any idea how much fun I'm having planning her party? It's kind of silly.

This of course means that we can't sell our house until the week after the party. In April. Drew is not-so-silently having a fit every time I mention something about her birthday because he wants me to rein it in. AS IF. This is my daughter's first birthday. There will be no reining in of ANYTHING.

HE SAYS I shouldn't plan because we might sell the house before then and I'll be disappointed. I assure him that I will be much more disappointed if we're still here in April and I *haven't* planned anything. It's not like I'm putting a thousand dollar down payment on a hall or something. I'm just planning a ~~huge~~ small, ~~elaborate~~ simple, ~~celebration~~ get-together for our daughter. No big. ~~Very big. Huge.~~

So how about y'all? I feel like I've been out of the loop since I was up to my eyeballs with the plague. Any gnashing of the teeth? Any planning?

And just because I like watching that vein pop out on his neck: Do you have any website suggestions/inspirations for Sofia's party?

A pox on my house

2012-01-05T23:23:00.000-06:00

Well hello 2012, I was all optimistic about how wonderful you were going to be and all the blessings and happy things you were going to bring and you don't even bother giving me just a few moments to enjoy that happy shiny feeling, huh? You gotta be all Happy New Year!

POX!

The plague has descended on my home and I'm only just now raising my head from the wreckage and carnage and mayhem and woe.

My kid is sick, my husband is sick, I'm sick and two of the three of us are shitting their brains out. You know how absolutely positively NOT fun that is? It's not fun.

The little cold that Sofia had, that I thought would resolve itself in a few days, has turned into an ear and sinus infection. Kill me now. She had a runny nose, which I attributed to teething and was all proud of myself for not being a neurotic mom and running to the doctor at a little sniffle. "She is breastfed," I said in my superhero voice. "Her body will heal itself."

Then she started coughing. "It's just the post-nasal drip irritating her throat. Don't panic. This is par for the course." I dutifully wiped her nose, used the snotsucker, we took steamy showers, I bought a humidifier and I prayed to the baby Jesus to heal my Precious.

Then she got really congested and her snot turned yellow. Game over. Time for the doctor.

I took her in and the doctor looked in her ear for a nanosecond and was like "She has an ear infection." Oh that's just awesome. Although the upside was that she's almost nine months old (next Wednesday - waaaaaaahhhhh) and this is her first cold. The doctor said most babies get 6-10 colds their first year of life so we were doing really well. I could only half-heartedly puff my chest out because Sofia was coughing and rubbing her eyes and ears and I felt terrible for her.

We got antibiotics and ear drops and Pedialyte because she said the antibiotics could give her diarrhea (which it totally does, btw. Shitting. Her. Brains Out. Awesome.) You know, it's the 21st century - you'd think they would have invented medication that makes things better *without* making other things worse. So now I'm on Dehydration Red Alert and I've got her permanently attached to my boob, which is super fun because the kid can barely breathe, while I'm drinking as much water as I can handle as well as trying to get her to drink the Pedialyte, which she hates. Of course she does.

Drew's birthday lunch, New Year's Eve.

Even though she was sick, she was still super cute and happy.

Oh, and my poor hubby. He's got issues too. He'd be mortified if I went into detail, but the man's strugglin. Oh yeah, we're starting the new year right. And by right I mean shitty. In the literal sense. I'm just thankful that the only thing I seem to have caught is Sofia's runny nose.

I was all ready to post about my resolutions and how good I'm feeling about this new year and how wonderful it is to have that clean slate feeling - and then the plague dropped on us and it's all I can do to keep up with her runny nose, her poopy butt, the dog and the husband. Mama is tired.

But it's all good because this too shall pass. Actually, let me rephrase that.

This too had better pass. It's killing me to hear my baby's nose rattle with all her snot, and the coughing is breaking my heart. And the poop? That shit just pisses me off.

Thank God my mom is in town for the weekend. The extra set of hands is a big help and even though I hate leaving the baby when she's sick, I'm have to go be with Drew because he's sick.

As for me, I'm downing the Vitamin C like it's my job and I'm trying my hardest to rest as much as possible (ha frickin HA) because moms aren't allowed to get sick.

Pray for us, y'all.

Giddy

2011-12-30T02:38:00.002-06:00

You guys. I'm back!!

In more ways than one - first, of course, I'm home. After nearly a month of traveling, I'm back in my own bed and I couldn't be happier about it. Even though it was great to see family and be with Drew for more than a day, living out of a suitcase is no fun and traveling with the baby is getting more and more complicated. Babies need a lot of stuff! I found myself constantly questioning how Angelina Jolie does it with her twelve thousand kids.

But even more than that, I got a night of mojo! Wait, that doesn't sound right. Whatever, who cares - I'm too giddy to think about proper phrasing.

I cleaned my house. You know how twitchy I get when my house is dirty. After the baby went to bed tonight, I cleaned it all. Mopped the floors. Cleaned the bathrooms. I did the laundry and folded and put it away as it came out of the dryer.

This mountain of vacation laundry is no more!

Everything is hung up and put in the drawers,

do you know how major that is?!

Not only that, I took a shower - a long one! I even got to put lotion on and rub it in! I even gave myself a little calf massage! I even put my three day old hair in some twists and I'm just going to see what happens!

I owe it all to this tiny human, who went to bed at nine pm and is still asleep. I don't even know what to do with myself.

Sofia's first Christmas was so wonderful! We spent it with Drew's parents and she even got to have a white Christmas!

My snow bunny

We all had a wonderful time and most importantly, it wasn't that cold! Even with the snow, I was able to be outside for the few seconds it took to document Sofia's first snowball. Christmas morning was of course, all about the baby and she was naturally spoiled beyond belief. And she liked the paper more than the gifts, but it was cool because Mom liked her gifts.

Uncle Nate and Auntie Julie got her this WheelyBug and I died

over the cuteness and how she did so well balancing on it!

A couple more inches and her feet will touch the floor!

A bow in the hair and in the mouth - that's a good Christmas!

Look what I get to do now!

And don't even think I'm going to be original about this shit; I'm

copying from each and every blogger I know, thankyouverymuch.

Remember this picture from way back?

These are the Santa hats the boys had when they were babies.

Now his baby gets to wear it!

Sort of

She's so flippin cute I can't stand it

Speaking of standing...

This morning, she went down for her nap like a champ which is amazing because she caught a cold with all the traveling and weather changes. She's been so congested and fussy I was beginning to think we were never going to have a sleep routine. But then, she slept in her crib with minimal fuss and she's sleeping now so I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

So while she napped I unpacked and created Mt. Laundry, dreading the the cleanup that always comes after vacation. I was in the bathroom when I heard her wake up. She wasn't fussing, so I let her be for a couple of minutes. When I finally came around the corner to see what she was up to, the child was standing up in her crib. My heart stopped and I didn't want to scare her, but she was chest high in there - she could lean just a little too far and flip right out of the crib because I hadn't lowered it because it never occurred to me that one day she would just frickin stand the hell up. I clapped and laughed and told her what a good job she did and then scooped her out of there so fast!

And then I recreated it for the blog. Of course I did.

O hai.

I can stand up.

And I have more hair so I actually get bedhead now.

I lowered the mattress as far as it would go and took the mobile down and cried that she's going to walk and talk and go to school and make friends and do things without me and leave me. Yes, I'm co-dependent. Get off me - this is happening too fast and I'm not ready.

Then again, she goes apeshit when she can't see me so maybe I've got a little time yet.

Anyway, the holidays were a lot of fun but I'm so glad to be home and I'm super glad that we have no travel plans for a while - everybody can come to us for a while. This afternoon, my brother texted me and told me that he and his girlfriend are coming for the weekend. I'm so excited to see them! When he told me that they were coming down, I initially thought it was really sweet of them to come down for Drew's birthday. When he was like, uh no, we're going to a New Year's party in Dallas I did a double take because oh yeah, it *is* New Year's. It going to be fun to see them, but I was all mom when I told him to have fun but if they came home and woke the baby I would cut them both.

The baby is still asleep! She woke up for a second, yelled a little bit, and put herself back to sleep! I can't believe it - it's like a Christmas miracle all over again! I may push my luck and play around on Pinterest for a while!

Mom hair

2011-12-20T08:43:00.000-06:00

Thing #812 they don't tell you when you have a kid: After you have said kid, your hair will fall out. Observe.

8 months preggo, hair is lush and full

6 months post-partum and nearly bald at the temples

Full disclosure: I'd gotten a blow-out for the bottom picture and I really don't have enough hair for blow-outs to look good on me. I do much better when I do my own hair, like I did in the top picture. It's just that I have to blowdry it first and then go back over every section with a big-barreled curling iron to smooth it out and that takes forever. Plus, I wanted the pampering that they give you at the salon, but I really should have known better.

Even more full disclosure, because it's just so horrifying:

I nearly cried when I saw this picture because I looked so bald.

I'm never getting a blowout again.

It's pretty safe to say I haven't the slightest clue what to do with my hair since I've had a child. The method I just described takes at least an hour and a half to do and it must be done all at once because it'll look fuzzy and I won't be able to fix it. These days I only have that kind of time after midnight and I'm so spent by then, the last thing I'm thinking about is my hair, so most days it looks like this:

This is a one day old twist-out. One day.

It looked like this the day before. Decent right?

Too bad I can only get it to look like this for one day.

The only upside to having rat's nest hair is that it's just ratty enough to give you good height when putting it in a bun. Buns are my life now.

Gather into a ponytail, wrap it around and pin.

It comes pre-ratted!

I don't even have to try and make it this big,

which is cool and kinda gross at the same time.

I rarely straighten it these days so my routine is mostly this:

Day 1: Wash and detangle and put it in four two-strand twists without separating the strands because I don't have time for that.

Day 2: Good hair day. I take out the twists and go somewhere so I can be seen with my cute hair.

Day 3: Ratty ponytail because it's still sort of okay to be out.

Day 4: French braid if I can get my hands in my hair. If not, it's a bun.

Day 5: Bun.

Day 6: Bun.

Day 7: Bun.

Day 8: Bun.

Day 9: Realize I haven't washed my hair in nine days, get grossed out and wash it.

I do it to myself, because I don't do anything to it at night. If I could find a no-fuss nighttime routine, I would be so happy because I don't do satin pillowcases, bonnets, and I certainly don't retwist it. I usually put it in one braid just to keep it out of my face, knowing my hair doesn't like braids.

And don't get me started on detangling! I was all excited because I thought I found my Holy Grail product that would get my hair detangled without losing mounds of hair. If I didn't know that pregnancy hair falls out when you're no longer pregnant, I'd be crying every day. I was losing handfuls of hair y'all. It was scary and no amount of vitamins could stop it. Thankfully, it seems to have slowed down but I sure do hate seeing more hair in my brush than on my head.

Anyway, coconut oil! I thought coconut oil was my Holy Grail, my key to slip and shine and smooth, tangle free tresses.

HA. It's more like the key to stringy, greasy nonsense.

It took me two hours to get this head full of grease.

It's okay to be jealous.

At least I have a little more hair at the temples now.

I wanted straight hair for Drew's Christmas party this past weekend and took my precious sleep time Thursday night to do my hair. I'd used coconut oil for the twist out when we went to see Santa so I thought it would work with straight hair too. No and no. Detangling was so hard, I thought I was going to pull the rest of my hair out. Blowdrying it melted the oils more so I was just a mess o' grease. Curling it made it even worse so I had to do it all over again when we arrived in Reading Friday night. I was so pissed!

Ironically, the detangler I bought for my curls works best when I use it to straighten my hair. Go figure.

Kinky Curly Knot Today

It works great to detangle but it made my hair so sticky when I'd twist it and leave it to air dry. I was about to give it away when I used it Friday night and then blowdried my hair. Magic! So weird.

I'm super glad I don't have to throw it out but I still don't have a good detangler when I wear it curly, which is most of the time.

So this is where y'all chime in. What's your nighttime routine? What's your curly detangler? What do you do with your hair now that you've had a kid? Did your hair fall out too? Isn't that the most depressing shit ever?

Wordless Wednesday (sort of)

2011-12-14T08:00:00.000-06:00

Yeah right, like I could do a post with no words.

I happened to have my phone in my pocket and instead of getting annoyed, I ruefully snapped a photo because this is my life now.

You know how they say once you have a kid you'll never be alone again? Ever? It's true.

Right after this, I broke out the pack n play again to have a place to stash her when I have to go to the bathroom because she shouldn't have to witness that.

I can't do anything about the dog though.

The Mom Bag

2011-12-13T11:49:00.000-06:00

Lots of things change when you become a mom. You never sleep again, your heart grows a million sizes, you see the world differently, blah blah blah. You know one of the biggest changes I struggled with?

My handbag.

I didn't realize how important my handbag was to me until I had to stop carrying one in favor of a diaper bag. All of a sudden my most important accessory had also grown a million sizes.

My super stylish girlfriend got me my first diaper bag at my baby shower. She is single with no kids. That's lesson one: Buy your own diaper bag. Handbags are an intensely personal thing and you're better off picking one out for yourself and showing it to the person who wants to get you something, just because no one else really knows your personality, your wardrobe or even how you plan to use your bag. I didn't know this and figured diaper bags were diaper bags. The only thing I told her is that I didn't want one that was too precious.

Nope

No thank you

No offense to anyone who carries a diaper bag like these, but it's just not my thing. I don't find patterned diaper bags very versatile and they practically scream "There's poop in here!" So she went for one that was a little more gender-neutral.

Diaper Dude Faux Suede bag

This bag worked great in the beginning, when I didn't get out much and Sofia's things were small. She wasn't too interested in toys, she hadn't grown into her cloth diapers and life was good. I loved the cross-body style and I felt very hip and urban carrying it. Then I started getting out more and I started cursing the giant messenger flap. There were three pockets on the outside of the bag, but trying to lift the flap, unzip the pocket, dig in the pocket to get something while trying to keep the flap from flapping down, all one-handed with a crying baby, and life started getting hard. Lesson two: Get a bag with easily accessible outside pockets and easy zippers. Flaps suck.

As I started to get the hang of the mom thing, I also started to feel like my bag was a little too gender neutral. I mean, this was my bag! Pretty much my only accessory! Heels were gone, earrings and necklaces got sacrificed to curious baby fingers, daily makeup was a joke, I never really wore rings and I was starting to feel a little less than feminine. So I started the search for a handbag that could function as a diaper bag.

It needed to be big - like mom big. I was carrying cloth diapers now, a change of clothes, and.... well, you'll see.

I also wanted it to be leather. That way it could somewhat dress up my outfit and make me look slightly more put together. Outside pockets were a must, but I didn't want it looking like a fisherman's vest. I searched high and low, staying up nights - seriously! I needed a lot from this bag and I intended to carry it for several years so it had to be up to the task.

I wanted something brown and distressed because most of my wardrobe is brown and I wear jeans or yoga pants pretty much every day so I didn't want it to be too structured and fussy. It had to have a short shoulder strap so I could still hold the baby with both hands. I know the cross-body style is better for the back but it also made me feel mannish so I'll just have to do some extra yoga to counteract the potential back problems.

I consulted Ain't no Mom Jeans for tips and guidelines and that's where I first saw the Foley and Corinna Mid City Tote.

Foley and Corinna Mid City Tote

Now, if you click the link, you'll notice that this little bag costs a shit-ton of money. Money that I don't have and wouldn't pay even if I had it. But I loved the bag - so I went looking for its twin. Even a long lost cousin would work for me too. I looked at Overstock and kind of liked this one.

Junior Drake tote

I liked the style but I didn't care for the colors.

I kept an eye on Craigslist and Ebay too. I probably spent a month looking online for bags and going to stores when Sofia would let me. Nearly every night I'd check different websites looking at different bags, but I kept coming back to the Foley and Corinna.

And then the purse gods smiled on me.

I found a Foley and Corinna on Ebay for a fraction of the original cost. I was nervous as hell because Ebay is notorious for fakes but this one felt right. The pictures looked good, I asked my questions and I went for it. I paced back and forth, waiting for it to come because I wanted to like it and I wanted it to work and I was prepared to leave all kinds of negative feedback if it was ugly or fake looking in any way.

It wasn't! It was beautiful! Gorgeous dark brown leather, beat-up just the right amount and BIG.

I can carry my house in here.

I've had this bag for a couple of months now and I love it. It's roomy and stylish and goes with everything. I was worried that it would become a black hole but it's got two inside pockets and two outside pockets and that works just fine.

The shoulder strap is handy too.

As for what's in the bag? Wellll,

1. Diaper wipes, just in case.

2. Spare outfit for the baby. This is a MUST.

3. Cloth wipe solution and washcloths.

4. Wet bag for cloth diapers

5. Maxi-pad, just in case and if someone asks you for one.

6. Liquid hand sanitizer

7. Hand lotion

8. Dairy pills because I'm lactose intolerant.

9. Boogie wipes because I don't want Sofia to be the Booger Kid.

10. Changing pad

11. Pacifier case in case she ever decides she'll take one.

12. Bib

13. Boon spoons for food pouches. I don't really need these but they're in there, just in case.

14. Dreft laundry pen

15. Flip and digital camera bag with cord

16. Gum, baby nail clippers and travel tubes of Aquaphor.

17. Checkbook and lots of pens. Why do I have so many pens?

18. Coin purse

19. Credit card holder

20. Disposable diapers, just in case

21. Sunglasses

22. Burp cloth

23. Cloth diaper - sometimes I carry two

24. Hand sanitizer wipes - when I run out, these will go away

25. Mommy cards - these actually come in quite handy!

26. Bronzer - my attempt at being cute. I have never touched it.

27. Card for the guy at the nail salon.

28. All my lip stuff and a Tide stick.

I just realized I didn't number my coupons. They're right below the maxipad. Coupons are very important - I mostly have Buy Buy Baby, Babies R Us and Bed Bath and Beyond coupons. Did you know Bed Bath and Beyond coupons never expire? And that they're kind of a drugstore now? With makeup and toothpaste and everything? I get my toilet paper and shampoo and stuff there now and I get 20% or $5 off and sometimes both! I'm such a mom now - whenever we go someplace, I'm all "Wait, let me see if I have a coupon!"

So that's my mom bag for ya. I realize that I may carry too much stuff, or you may hate my bag and that's totally fine. Handbags are personal decisions and what works for me may not work for you. This post was actually really fun for me to write and it spurred me to clean out my diaper bag so it's all good. It's definitely a work in progress and as Sofia gets older and her needs change, my bag will probably change too. But for now, this is me!

I survived Santa

2011-12-08T18:52:00.001-06:00

When babies are this young, everything is for the parents, not them. Sofia will have zero memory of her first trip with Santa and I tried to tell myself that it didn't matter whether we went or not. I didn't want to wait in the lines and fight the crowds for something that wouldn't matter to her one way or the other.

But when I ordered our Christmas cards and bought her Christmas dresses I found my grinch mood lifting and I was thankful for my friend Kristin who texted me, saying we should go together and it would be less painful.

This being our first time, I turned to my best friend for all the pointers. Their little girl is 18 months and they're pros, so when he said to get there early for the ticket to stand in line, I listened. After I was like, WTF? I have to get a ticket to see Santa? Ugh, this better be worth it.

The baby wakes up normally at seven (she's been sleeping semi-well but I'm still too tired to celebrate) so I bundled her up and we headed to the mall. I got there at 8:30 because it took me that long to get going and I was still rocking the unwashed face and bedhead. I met Kristin at the line and there was no one around because they didn't hand out the damn tickets until 9!!!!! So we went to Starbucks and by the time we came back at like 9:05, they'd already started to line up!! WTF? Gah, these people are serious! After getting schooled by the mom ahead of us who had been coming for like eight years we got our tickets (5 and 6, thank you very much) and I headed home to get the baby dressed.

We ended up going with the red outfit due to my lack of accessories for the blue dress. I couldn't find a silver bow and I didn't really want to buy *another* pair of shoes for Sofia. I know right? I never thought I'd hear those words, but she already has four pairs of shoes and she'll probably grow out of those within a month. I'm trying to space out my clothing purchases for her. I don't want to buy ten pairs of shoes now and have to do it all again in a month. So red it was.

The Santa people had it down. Before I knew it, it was our turn and the guy took her from me in an instant, sat her down on Santa's lap and started snapping away. I barely had time to snap my own pictures.

At least his hair and beard were real and I was glad he didn't wear a dumb hat.

I would have liked some eyeglasses though.

I may mention that for next time.

Most importantly, she didn't cry! She's in the stage where she's not sure about other people holding her - sometimes she screams, sometimes she's cool. I was right there and I was praying this was a cool baby time and it was! She was a champ! I didn't get a scrunchy-face smile but she didn't scream and that's a win in my book!

I went ghetto and this is a picture of the picture.

They wanted $125 for the digital file!

Santa ain't *that* cool.

At the last minute I decided not to do the jacket because the collar was flipping up and the detail on the bodice of her dress was covered if I buttoned it. I think it looked just fine and more than anything, I'm just happy not to have the Screaming Baby picture.

Because this kind of picture isn't cute.

At all.

The whole thing was over in less than five minutes and I was so freakin glad that we were there early because that damn line stretched to forever. I couldn't imagine what it must be like on the weekends!

She did such a good job!

It was a big day! For both of us! I felt like I'd cleared a mom hurdle by taking her, like I got a merit badge on my Mom Sash.

I even had a good hair day! Bonus!

Obligatory bathroom pic, because good hair days

are so few and far between around here.

The ends need work but I was untwisting it in the car on the way up there.

So safe, I know.

Anyway, Sofia's first trip to see Santa was a success and I have a good eight more years to pick outfits! Next year, blue! Or silver! Or green! Or gold!

Baby style: The Christmas edition

2011-12-06T19:16:00.001-06:00

I totally forgot to tell you, but when I wrote the last baby style post, the people at Vitamins Baby heard me! They sent me an email thanking me for saying nice things about them and gave me a discount code to use for anyone who's interested! Granted, that was over a couple of months ago and I don't even know if the codes work anymore. And now, no one is ever going to give me a discount code again because I'm late in sharing it with my readerfriends. But, if you like Vitamins Baby too and want to get something from them, use FB2011 to get 20% off whatever you buy.

*To all other retailers who want to give me discount codes or free stuff, I promise cross my heart I'll be more timely about writing about it. Swears. Give me stuff and I'll show you.

Okay.

Now, on to the business at hand. I'm taking Sofia to see Santa on Thursday and we did some shopping today.

We got a hat and mittens for winter. Old Navy has some cute stuff!

I went next door to Carter's and got a red dress and then went to Babies R Us for diapers for our out of town trip next week. They had their Christmas dresses on sale and I found a great blue one. I couldn't decide so I got both and will return one. But I need help! I can't decided which one to keep! So we had to play Fashion Show.

These were the best shots I could get with my phone because Sofia loves to touch things. She is all about the texture and the silky red dress, the fur on the collar of the jacket, the velvet bolero jacket and the sparkly netting of the blue dress was so much for her. I was constantly trying to keep her from putting the dresses in her mouth, saying "Baby, we have to return one of these and they won't take drooly dresses!"

The red is definitely festive and Christmas-y but I wonder if her dress will just fade into Santa's suit. But I want silver accessories with the blue dress. Old Navy had some silver shoes and I have no clue where to get a silver bow, but I just love the sparkly blue skirt. I would have gotten some more pictures but Sofia was not having it. She wanted to put everything in her mouth and after I stopped her a couple of times, she was done being in the dress.

Aaannd, we have meltdown.

I took the dresses off and now I'm thinking I should visit the fabric store and make a book of scraps for her to touch and taste. Have any of y'all ever done that? Have you ever seen it done?

But I digress - what dress should she wear? It's her first trip to see Santa! This is serious! You know how judge-y those babies can be!

It's a Christmas miracle!

2011-12-05T17:21:00.001-06:00

I'm back and I missed you! I missed this! The baby slept for FIVE HOURS last night - all in a row! It was so beautiful! Drew was gone, the house was quiet and you know what I did? I caught up on all mah blogs!! It was so great! I wasn't able to comment on all of them but I was there!

You know what else I did?

I'd been hearing all the hype about this show and last night I finally watched the pilot, because I can't do things out of order.

F*CK THIS SHOW.

I ain't even playin. Who in the holy hell thinks this shit up??? I was so messed up and it took forever to get to sleep. I had to scrub my brain by watching New Girl, Up All Night and Happy Endings and I still had nightmares about that damn monster woman in the basement. And the scarred dude. And the bloody twins - AND THAT RUBBER MAN. What the F*ck! Seriously. F*ck that show.

ANYWAY.

Thanksgiving was wonderful and it was so great to see my family, although if I have my way about things, this will be the last year we travel. Sofia was great on the drive, for which I am eternally grateful. But being in my parent's house, with all their stairs, and their uncovered outlets and their glass picture frames and their pointy, breakable EVERYTHING, it was so much more work. I don't think I sat down for more than a minute before I had to jump up because Sofia was crawling high-speed for the outlets. What makes kids go straight for those the things that will kill them?

My mom drove back with me and stayed with the baby while I finished the work for my neighbor. Remind me to never EVAHevahevahevah say I'll do something for someone without first arranging for childcare. I was kidding myself thinking I could coordinate movers and get a house unpacked with a baby strapped to my chest. Yahright.

But it's done now and it's behind me and now it's time to get in the Christmas spirit y'all! I decided about ten minutes ago that we're going to do Christmas cards so I got those ordered and they should be here next week sometime. I'm aiming to get them mailed out before Christmas Day - I think that's reasonable.

Okay, the baby is wigging out so this has to be short but have you SEEN American Horror Story? What is UP with that show?

I'm thankful for YOU!

2011-11-24T15:04:00.001-06:00

We're in KC visiting family but I wanted to take a moment to say THANK YOU. You are all wonderful beautiful helpful people and I'm thankful for you. I'm thankful for the friendships we've created, I'm thankful for being allowed to visit your lives, I'm thankful that you've come to visit mine and I just want you to know.

You mean so very much to me and I'm thankful for you! I hope you have a wonderful holiday and I'll be back soon!

Falling down

2011-11-21T03:18:00.001-06:00

Don't be melodramatic, don't be melodramatic, don't be melodramatic........

It won't help anything. Stick to the facts. Keep it in perspective. Everything's going to be okay.

.....................

I'm in desperate need of a pep-talk and that's the best I can do right now.

So, never mind what I said a few days ago that I was winning the Sleep Battle. Round Three, Four, Five *and* Six go to......I don't even know who they go to, because neither of us is winning right now.

Not even a little bit.

Sofia is most definitely waking in the middle of the night to comfort nurse. That tells me that she has the ability to sleep through the night but is waking up naturally and doesn't know how to fall to sleep again without at least a few minutes of nursing. She's definitely not eating so it would be better for her to simply sleep more. Right? I don't know.

I feel like my brain has been rattled because I attempted Ferber-izing her tonight. Holy shitballs. That's all I have to say about that. Who in the HELL can do that without cracking? And if it's you, comment right the hell now and tell me EXACTLY how you do it.

Let me say that again: COMMENT ON THIS POST AND TELL ME HOW TO DO THIS.

I've never asked for comments before because it's your business if you want to lurk or not, but I just spent the last hour staring up at the ceiling because I was so shaken by spending the hour before that listening to my daughter scream her face off in three minute intervals.

Because yeah, I couldn't even do the 'progressive waiting' that Ferber recommends. You're supposed to let them cry for one minute, go in and check on them for no longer than two minutes, leave even if they're screaming their faces off, wait for three minutes, check again but no longer than two minutes, wait for five minutes, check again, and repeat at five minute intervals until they fall asleep from ~~sadness~~ ~~exhaustion~~ I don't even know.

Are you freakin kidding me?

I did this for almost an hour, which felt like 59 minutes too long. I finally gave in and nursed her. Then, I felt guilty about doing it because if I was going to 'give in' I shouldn't have let her cry in the first place. I just whispered 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry' as her little fist hit my chest. That's a suck-ass feeling if there ever was one.

How in the world am I supposed to do this alone? Where am I supposed to find the strength to withstand the crying?

But she needs to sleep. She barely takes naps in the daytime because she wakes up naturally about 20-30 minutes after she goes down and hardly ever goes back to sleep, so even though she always naps in the morning, it's never for long. Afternoon naps are a joke. I try and try to give her every opportunity to sleep but it doesn't happen. The only time it happens in the afternoon is if I have to go somewhere and she sleeps in the carseat. Then I feel even worse when we arrive and I have to disturb her. I've definitely taken the long way to get places just to ensure that she gets at least thirty minutes of sleep.

I feel even worse seeing this in writing. Great.

Never mind the rest of my life. It took me eight hours to do laundry one day. I just about lost it because the same amount used to take me two hours and I used to be able to get so much other stuff done while the clothes were in the wash and I used to fold and put away the laundry as it came out of the dryer. Now, the only things that get done like that are her diapers.

Regular showering is a joke. I will myself not to sweat because I know it'll probably be days before I'll get to shower.

And holy shit, my eyebrows. And my hair. No lie, I just avoid mirrors these days.

And the 'work' I did for my neighbor? I'm having anxiety over that too because I should have said no in the first place. But I'm not good at saying no. I felt like I was put on the spot and it would have been nice to have the extra money for Christmas.

But the day of the move? I had the baby strapped to my chest all day long while I was trying to tell the movers about somebody else's stuff, what was supposed to go to storage, what was supposed to go to the new place because nothing was labeled and the house was an absolute wreck when they arrived. I hardly knew what was trash and what was supposed to be packed. And how am I supposed to unpack everything at the new place? Do you know how much longer everything takes with a baby strapped to your chest? And OH YEAH, WHAT ABOUT NAPS?!

I should have said no, because I have no one to take care of the baby while I go do stuff.

I'm the one who takes care of the baby. It's called primary caregiver, Desiree. The baby is my first job. Really, it's my only job but there's nothing like the guilt of 'not contributing' that will have me open my mouth and say yes when I should have said no, just so I can say I've added to the bank account.

The baby will be up soon.

Thinking on Thursday

2011-11-17T22:23:00.001-06:00

Thank goodness for Carolyn's Thoughts on Thursday because that's about all I have energy for! And I know you're not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition but that's all I've got. For.

Link it up!

I have to wash my hair tonight and I really don't want to because it takes so long, and I'd rather sleep.
But I have to because my hair is nasty dirty and that's just gross.
I'm hosting a playgroup tomorrow and it's my first one so of course I'm super nervous that I'm going to do something dumb and they'll never want to come over again.
I've eaten more regularly in the past two days than I have in a long time thanks to my one-handed food.
You'd think I invented sandwiches judging by my pride in my ~~original~~ not original discovery.
My neighbor sold his house and travels for work so he asked me to coordinate the move for him. He paid me but having the baby and 'working' all day was almost not worth it. I'm beat!
The baby has been sleeping so well lately! Just in time for us to go out of town in a couple of days.
Last week I painted my nails for the first time in years. My mani is all chipped now and I can only paint my nails OR wash my hair tonight. I remember now why I don't paint my nails.
I rearranged the living room and bought a new rug - I can't wait until it gets here!
The baby crawled for the first time a couple of days ago, hence the need for the living room change. She needs space to roam!

Please, for the love of all that's good and holy, ignore my voice in the following video. In fact, do us all a favor and watch it on mute because I sound like an idiot. If I knew how to put music over my voice I totally would because, wow. What a weirdo. Me, not the baby.

I was dreaming when I wrote this

2011-11-15T21:34:00.001-06:00

And by dreaming I mean having a large glass of the good wine. Just so you know where I'm coming from.

SO! Yet again, I love the internet and blogging and wine!

Writing the last post got me thinking about food and how much I hate it, but how much I hate it more when I feel like someone or something is getting the best of me. Today I brainstormed and guess what y'all! I'm cooking right now! And drinking because I hate cooking!

Oh and guess what else! I did a Google search on what foods you can eat one-handed to get ideas. My lil' ol' blog came up at the bottom of the first page! I feel bad for that because I am of no help whatso ever when it comes to ideas. Until now!

There's a website called thenaptimechef.com that gave me some great ideas and got my thinking cap glowing. My thinking cap glose, doesn't yours? Anyway, sandwiches! You can eat sandwiches with one hand! I had the most brilliant idea of making sausage biscuits for breakfast (because I am a meat-a-saurus and must have meat at every meal.) I went to the store and got some Jimmy Deans and some pop biscuits. I fried up that thar sausage, made some eggs and put them in baggies, ready for the microwave in the morning!

Then I made some chicken salad sandwiches for lunches, inspired of course by my one and only bestie Carolyn. She posted a recipe for chicken salad sandwiches thereby putting the bug in my ear. Ps, where in the HAYull did that expression come from? Reminds me of Star Trek, the wrath of Khan where they put the bug in that guy's ear. Tells you how old I am that I'm referencing that movie and how much that scene affected me that I can still remember it.

One-handed food!

ANYWAY! Oh chicken salad!

I chopped and mixed and assembled and now I have lunches! I'm feeling so good about myself right now which is a good thing because I'm really done with this whole husband-living-in-another-city thing. Because let's face it, when he's home an average of 48 hours a week, he lives in another city.

It got me thinking about our marriage and how the two years that we've been married we've been dealing with some drama or another pretty much since day one. I'm super extra ready for a drama-free life right about now because it's hard on both of us. When he's gone I handle all house business, no breaks, no relief, no time off. When he's home, it would be great to get a break, relief or time off but he's been traveling and working the whole time and he wants a break too. He wants to put his feet up in his own house for a minute and while I can't blame him that much, I need help around this piece! I'm over it and I'm ready for normal.

Until then, I'm drinking the good wine.

PS, I hate food

2011-11-14T09:48:00.001-06:00

I thought my attitude towards food would change once I had a baby. At least I hoped it would, but now that she's here, I still hate it. I try my hardest to eat well because I'm breastfeeding and I'm thankful that I never had bad habits to begin with, but I still hate food. And I hate it even more because of what it's done to my precious baby.

Food is dumb.

Breastfeeding is perfect for lazy moms like me. I don't have to worry about packing snacks when we go out, I don't have to warm bottles or wash them when I'm done and I don't have to worry about food groups or proper nutrition or vitamins or any of that nonsense. Through the magic of Mother Nature, Sofia gets exactly what she needs when she needs it with zero brain effort from me.

However, since I can't breastfeed forever (totally kicking rocks about that) we had to introduce solids.

Solids? What's that? Unbutton your shirt please.

After the french fry, I was more serious about getting off on the right foot. Again, because I'm a lazy parent, I'm choosing Baby Led Weaning for Sofia. I got the book and cookbook and we were ready to go.

We started with bananas. She played with it more than she ate it, but that was fine by me because some got in her mouth as evidenced by her diapers.

OH! MOMS! No one told me this and it freaked me the hell out: if you feed your baby bananas, they will get little threads in their poop that look like worms. Scared the ever-loving SHIT out of me! Thank God for the other moms in my playgroup because I was ready to call the freakin CDC and never feed her solids again.

And another PS - my cloth diapers are still doing fine. I told a couple people that we were doing cloth and they were all "oh that's cute. Just wait until she starts solids - you'll be singing a different tune." Well LA LA LA beeshes! Still snow-white, still no stinks!

For about three weeks, we tried bananas, avocados, carrots, prunes and pears (the prunes and pears were purees because we were on the road and she hadn't pooped.)

But, I think we did it wrong because my poor baby's little face busted out in a nasty case of eczema. Her little cheeks were a rosy red mess of bumps and scabs and I was NOT having it.

She even scratched her nose, poor baby.

The pediatrician had a look at it and was just like, put some Aquaphor on it. Okay fine. I did and it cleared up but it came right back the second she ate something else. Bananas - busted up face. Avocados - busted up face. Carrots - busted up face. I was getting annoyed and finally we just stopped altogether. I hate food anyway - I didn't need any more encouragement to go back to exclusive breastfeeding.

However, I'm also afraid of oral motor delay - at least I think that's what it's called. It's what happens if you miss the window for introducing solids and then they have trouble eating and talking and stuff. SEE how much trouble food is? Gah!

Since I wasn't satisfied with the Aquaphor-and-power-through-it diagnosis, I went a different path and got me a hippie doctor. It's yet another reason why I love our neighborhood. There are two lactation consultants and a naturopath that live within driving distance! Plus, they do house calls!

The hippie doctor had me fill out this 20-page questionnaire that asked me to gauge my satisfaction with my intellectual pursuits, how I felt about staying home and what I ate in a normal day. There was all kinds of space for that part, and I felt really bad writing 'Triscuits.' I wasn't surprised when she was like "you need to eat more." Really hippie doctor? You don't say?

But, aside from that it was really interesting meeting with her and she spent over an hour at my house, going over the vitamins I took (CVS prenatals - she wasn't too impressed with that either), even looking at the lotion I used on the baby - which got her approval.

Approved by hippie doctors everywhere!

Get yours today!

(You have to say that in your announcer voice, otherwise it's silly.)

Her diagnosis was that Sofia's little gut just wasn't ready for solids and we're going to try again at the end of this month and be extra conservative this time, doing only one food every five days and starting with root vegetables instead of fruits. Also, I've started taking a probiotic and some hippie fish oil because the CVS fish oil pills didn't cut it either. Hopefully the baby's face won't bust out again and we'll have a more enjoyable time with it because I'm hypersensitive about establishing a positive foundation with food for her. I'm in mortal fear of a picky eater or having a kid who's allergic to everything.

Besides that, there are so many other issues tied to food. I don't want her to be a comfort/stress/emotional eater and those habits start early. I also don't want her to hate it like me. I just want her to have a healthy relationship with food and I want to start her off on the right foot.

We have another appointment with the hippie doctor at the end of the month and we'll try this song and dance again, hopefully with more success. But for now, I'm happy to leave it up to Mother Nature.

I am a prize cow.

Beautiful

2011-11-11T03:58:00.001-06:00

Ok, so I've had my cry over how much the world sucks. It always takes time to recover when you've witnessed the devil and before I grab my daughter and crawl under the covers and never leave the house again, I better remember the beautiful things.

I went to Pinterest to remind me that it's not all bad.

Because you light candles when bad things happen

And then, of course:

Chubby babies make me happy

Okay, I feel better now.

Because I can't say anything else

2011-11-10T23:16:00.001-06:00

Tonight I will pray for those children.

Round two goes to The Mom

2011-11-09T13:56:00.000-06:00

Thank you all so much for your words of advice and encouragement on the last post. I read them all and tried a few and for the past two days I've been Winning!

Oh come on, you knew that was coming.

So, I took April's advice on the theory that Sofia might be having separation anxiety at night. That made sense because lately she's been a total Stage 5 Clinger. Two nights ago, I put my tank top in her crib and while I nursed her before bed, I took one of her lovies and rubbed it on my chest and neck. I felt weird doing it and I was a little nervous to have things in her crib but I had the Angelcare on high so if anything happened, I was ready.

One night it went off and I nearly broke my face jumping off the sofa and sliding

on the hardwood floor trying to get to her room. She had rolled over to the edge

of her crib and was completely fine.

They may save babies, but they might kill you.

They should put that on the box.

Anyway, I laid her down with her lovie and my shirt and prayed for the best. Like clockwork, she woke up at 12:30. I let her cry for only a second before I went to her. I rocked her, nursed her and put her back in her crib. I came back to bed and at 12:46 she started moan-whining crying. I told myself that I would let her cry for five minutes tops and doubted whether I'd be able to hold out.

12:47, she was full-out yelling. 12:48, still yelling and I was out of bed on my way to her room.

12:49, silence.

Three minutes and she was out! I couldn't believe it! She slept until 6:30 and I went ahead and brought her to bed with me until 7:30 when she was up for the day. That was a good first try for both of us.

Last night, I put her to bed around 8 and she went down like a champ. This time she didn't wake up until 2:40am! I went into her room and nursed her for just a couple of minutes and then rocked her and put her back to bed. She moan-cried, but by the time I made it back to bed she was asleep.

I'm quite sure I'm jinxing myself by talking about it, but I just had to document this for posterity. I couldn't do the whole cry-it-out routine where you're supposed to let them cry for five, ten, fifteen minutes in succession. Five minutes is my max so I'm really glad she went back to sleep in three.

Maybe tonight she'll be up for hours. Maybe she's learning to put herself to sleep. Maybe the lovie and my shirt were the key. I have no idea but I'm just thankful that I've gotten two nights of good sleep. I even put makeup on today!

Because that's what it's about - you have to celebrate the good moments so you can make it through the ones where you don't get to shower for three days because you can't put them down and the only food you've had are Triscuits because that's all you can eat with one hand.

Send coffee

2011-11-07T08:17:00.000-06:00

I don't even drink coffee. Even if I did, I can't drink it because I'm breastfeeding but that's how delirious I am. Send whatever you have that will help me through this.

My daughter's sleep habits have gone in the toilet.

In the good old days, she would rub her eyes around 7:30 and I'd get her bath ready. It's part of our routine and her little clock would tell her it's time to wind down. After the bath, it's lotion, pjs, nurse, then bed. Bath, boob, bed - it worked like a charm. She used to sleep until about 4 in the morning, when she would wake up with the sweetest little cooing, I would go to her, nurse her back to sleep without incident until 7 that morning. It was beautiful and I was smug. I was glib.

Oh, she still goes down between 7:30 and 8. Bath, boob, bed still works like a charm. But now? Now the child wakes up around midnight. There are several things wrong with this.

I try to go to bed between 10:30 and 11. It's a gamble I know, because I can either stay up until she wakes up that final (ha ha) time or go to sleep for an hour and wake up right in the middle of a sleep cycle and feel like I've had an entire bottle of Nyquil while being beaten about the head and neck.

But sometimes I can't help it and my eyes just close and then I'm screwed when she wakes up. Oh yeah, gone are the sweet baby coos and sighs. Now she does this whiny, moan-y thing that grates on my last nerve. I can handle the crying, at least it's a thing. But this whining, moaning noise? I have gone into her room and said, "Oh my sweet precious angel, Mommy loves you so much but you have got to stop doing that."

She will still nurse, but it's the going back to sleep that's killing me. She fakes me out! She'll nurse until she falls off and I think I'm home free. I s l o w l y get up from the chair, tiptoe the three steps to the crib, stand there for a while rocking her back and forth whisper-singing a lullaby, I lean over the crib keeping her in much the same position as I can manage, landing softly on the mattress, and I stay there unmoving, not breathing and she sleeps. S l o w l y I straighten up and start to tiptoe the four steps out of her room. Juuuuuust as I reach the door BAM! Whiny moan-y noise.

Naively, I try to let her put herself back to sleep and she's done it a grand total of one time. The other times if I let her cry too much, she wakes herself up completely and upsets herself so much that I'm guaranteed not to get back to sleep for the rest of my life.

And so she has won this round. I'm so tired now that I'm afraid to nurse her in the chair because I actually fell asleep once and now I'm terrified of dropping her. So I bring her to bed with me so I can at least nurse her lying down. But now she's on to me and she does the fake out even when I let her fall asleep in our bed, only now it's fifteen steps to her crib and she goes all that way pretending she's asleep only to wake up and whine when I put her in the crib. So I leave her in our bed.

BUT! She's six months old now - she no longer sleeps all cute and sweet in one position, looking like an angel doll baby. She's a full-fledged person and she sleeps all kinds of crazy. I have been kicked in the groin, slapped in the face, throat-punched, my nipples pinched and that's not when she's rolled over practically underneath me so now I'm paranoid about suffocating her. Although I'm not as worried as I was before because I'm sure she'd punch me in the face before she was in true danger.

I've contemplated sleeping in the nursery so when I nurse her in bed I can get right up and put her back in her crib and if she won't go, it's a short walk back to bed. But I don't even know if that will work. Saturday night Drew slept with her in the nursery because I was so delirious and tired that I simply couldn't do it. I did the fake out dance with her like five times and I was so freakin spent that I had to just come back to bed and admit defeat.

I know it's because we've been traveling. When we were at Drew's parents, she slept in bed with us because it was an impromptu trip and we didn't have a pack n play. When we were in Reading, she didn't care for their pack n play and since we were all in one room and Drew had to work every morning, we couldn't do the fake out dance because he had to get some sleep.

So I'm pretty sure I've messed her up and now she expects to sleep with us/me, but I can't take it. Between waking up in the middle of a sleep cycle and getting physically assaulted, I am a mess. Plus, I know it's not good for the baby. She needs her own space and I hate that she can't get back to sleep once she wakes up in the middle of the night.

I don't know what to do because she hasn't seriously started teething yet and I'm petrified of that little development. I'm telling myself that it's only a phase, that no baby ever went to kindergarten not sleeping through the night.

But oh my baby Jesus, I. Am. Tired.

Why yes, I have had work done

2011-11-04T23:43:00.000-05:00

Not on me. I'm still scrawny with circles and bags under my eyes. My blog however, is looking downright fresh! I enlisted the talents of the lovely Miss Katie who orchestrated this little facelift and I am so very happy! I have pages now! It looks so much cleaner and my favorite part is that there are no more borders around my crappy pictures! Because it was the border that was making them crappy, doncha know. I have some sprucing up to do and some pages to fill but I love the new look!

I'm most impressed with how quickly she did it. I'd been wanting a blog redesign for some time but I didn't know exactly what I wanted and I'd heard horror stories of people taking months to respond, if they responded at all - once they took your money of course. Not so for Katie! I told her what I was thinking about, and like magic she delivered! Thank you so much Katie!

Not only that, I've finally entered the 21st century. Oh yeah, I got one of these hot mamas.

I'm so high-tech I can't even stand it.

My old phone was dying and being crochety about it; he (my phone was a boy) refused to let go. I'd try to send a text message and I could practically hear it wheezing as it tried to keep up with me, and that's saying something because I'm not tech-y at all. Never mind email, that was way too much to ask of the old boy. He'd lock up and that was it. I couldn't even turn it off to put him out of his misery. Eventually, he'd remember he was right in the middle of something and all the words I typed an hour ago would come rushing out. It just wasn't pretty so today I went to the Sprint store to see if they could do some CPR or shock him back into working. Sadly, they told me that anything they did would just be prolonging the inevitable and that I should just let him go.

Enter Sloane.

Slim, trim, shiny and down for whatever. We've been hanging out, getting to know each other. She's oh so pretty and I totally have to step up my game. I was used to my old boy and I was patient with him. If it took him ten minutes to send a five-word text message, I let it slide because I knew it was hard for him. But not Sloane. I type fast, she sends faster. She even talks to me! It's amazing!

New phone, new blog - I feel so shiny!

Lieutenant Dangle

2011-11-02T09:13:00.003-05:00

I was trying to think of a different post title for the longest time, as the title has nothing to do with the subject, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. Plus, it makes me giggle, especially when I think about people who will Google that and come here and realize I'm talking about babywearing! HaHA suckas!

Because yeah, we're not talking about this:

We're not ever talking about this.

We're talking about this:

Normally, I don't bother with things that piss me off on the internet, because hello it's the internet. But man, when I saw this I went off on Kate Hudson, lecturing my laptop screen, I mean, yelling at her. You are a celebrity! People look at you! They're going to emulate you and follow what you're doing! You should know better than this! How do you not have people in your camp advising you! And hem your jeans!

I really hate it when people don't hem their jeans. It looks sloppy.

I shoved my computer in Drew's face and went off for another five minutes about Kate Hudson and her poor baby. Then I realized it was everywhere.

I just feel sorry for this poor kid.

Yes, I know putting your baby in a front-facing carrier lets you show them off to the world but it's not good for them. I didn't know that but after doing just a little bit of research, it's really really not good for them! That's what kills me: how can I do one little Google search and come up with this and this and these people hire freaking baby consultants or maternity concierges or whatever they are and they don't get this very important bit of information right??

Let me break it down: Kate Hudson's baby is only a couple months old, I think. When babies are teeny, they naturally curl up. Their little hands are in fists and their legs naturally draw up close to their bodies - naturally. Now, my baby just woke up so I can't do further research and give you more links so I'm only going to reference my own kid.

When she was teeny, I would hold her and her little legs automatically curled up underneath her.

It happened when I laid her down too.

Also, waaaah because she was a month old here and she's such a big girl now!

But back to my point. They don't start to stretch out or relax until they're about three months old-ish. Again, referencing my own kid. But that still doesn't mean you should put them in a front-facing carrier. Feel your groin area, you'll notice two big pulses - go on, stand up and feel that spot where your legs meet your torso. A medical person can tell me what the technical name is but they're from arteries and it's rather important that you don't compress that area and cut off bloodflow. Also, you have to be mindful of your baby's hip area. That hip-leg socket area is pretty important to crawling and walking so you want to make sure it's growing properly.

Now, notice how these babies are dangling! First, the mom's center of gravity is way off. With the baby all out in front like that, it puts undue stress on her shoulders and back. Never mind the poor baby who is strung up by their crotch, compressing those arteries. Additionally, facing out causes an un-natural pelvic tilt in the low back (sway-back), messing up the hip-leg socket area. Plus, your poor kid is just out there, bombarded with sights and sounds with no way to filter it by turning away and more importantly, they can't see their mom! At that age, looking at mom's face is how they make sense of the world. If Mom is smiling, this thing must be good so I'm happy. Mom is sad, I will cry, and so on. Considering the lack of that critical input of mom's face plus all the noise of the outside world, and you might end up yelling at your laptop.

Of course, having a baby facing in isn't near as much fun because when they're teeny, there's not much to see.

God Bless, I looked rough.

It makes me laugh that Mariska Hargitay actually folded down part of her carrier so you could see her baby's costume. Yes, I yelled at the computer: Take the kid out of the carrier and lay her down somewhere if a picture of the dumb costume is so important! Think of your baby's hips, woman!

If your kid's legs still curl up, don't stretch them out to put them in a carrier! If they do stretch out, keep them facing in and make sure their knees are higher than their butt. If you do face them out, put them in a Buddha position so their groin isn't compressed, but only when they're old enough and not for a long time so they don't get overstimulated.

from here - again, a two-second Google search will tell you

all you need to know!

Okay, my rant is over. I know my voice will never be as loud as one picture of a celebrity but that doesn't meant I shouldn't speak up. I'm so happy that babywearing is becoming more prevalent, but my goodness, make sure you're doing it right. And yes, I know that you'd have to wear your baby facing out for like 20 hours a day for months and months to do permanent damage and doing it once or twice for an hour or so at a time won't kill them but still!

Okay, for real. I'm done. I've said my piece and it most definitely wasn't as eloquent or as scientific as other people out there and that's fine with me. Sometimes you just have to say things and sometimes it doesn't come out pretty.

So don't be a Lieutenant Dangle.

I mean, don't dangle your baby.

I mean - you know what I mean.

I don't care if Halloween has passed

2011-11-01T09:13:00.002-05:00

You guys!! I have to make this quick because we have to get ready to catch our flight home, but you guys!! I finally took some good pictures!!

My flash died on my camera. I have no idea how it happened - I didn't even know that sort of thing could happen! As a result, I've been forced to learn about all the other settings on my camera so I can take pictures in low light as well as paying more attention to natural light and how to use it. Anyway, you guys!! Look!

It's not blurry! It's a little smoky because of the sun placement,

but it's not blurry!!

Daddy's moo-ing

My new favorite picture

We went to Drew's parent's house for the weekend to surprise them. It was so sweet to see the baby hanging out with her grandparents and I didn't die from the cold weather. But more importantly, I got to shower, eat a full meal with both hands and put the baby on the floor without having to worry about a giant dog stepping on her. It was bliss and I know I've said that before but seriously, any day without dog hair is a day in Heaven. Even though I do kind of miss my doggie - although I'll never admit it. Except I kind of just did. Dangit.

It has been so much fun hanging out this week and I can hardly believe that in just two short weeks we'll be back on the road for Thanksgiving. My poor baby - please someone tell me that I'm not messing her up for life by carting her all around like this. I feel so guilty that she hasn't slept in her own bed for like almost ten days!

But my goodness, I look at those pictures and seeing her grandpa feed her and seeing her smile and laugh in his arms gets me all happy and choked up and I think to myself, what's a sleep schedule when you've got Grandpa!

Of course, I may be singing a different tune tonight when we're home and I'm trying to put her to bed. Pray for me y'all.

But hey! How 'bout those pictures!

I'm just a girl, I mean mom

2011-10-27T15:40:00.002-05:00

*Only three days left to vote for Sofia - help her to finish strong! Click the link, click 'vote for me', type the phrase, then click 'submit my vote.' Easy peasy! Thank you!

Dinner with the work people went well. By that I mean, I made it through without spilling anything on myself, I didn't say anything I shouldn't have and I actually made eye contact without shaking! But more than than that, I got to dress up! Of course, I'm a bad blogger because I didn't get a picture of my outfit but I was really happy with it - I even got to wear heels! I wore my dyed jeans, a ruffly tank top and a cute jacket over it. I so rarely get to dress up anymore and as I dressed Sofia in her cute ruffly socks and sparkly shoes, I was positively giddy!

Now here's where I become a girl and I whine: Drew didn't even notice my outfit. I was so happy to have found a cute shirt that I could nurse in, I was wearing jeans that fit, I even put on makeup so that I could be Wifey Extraordinaire and make him proud and he didn't say one word! I was so hurt! He says he said something in the car but I either blacked out in that precise moment or he said it with his mind. Either way, I don't remember. I've just been in such a funk over my wardrobe and when I found something that made me look cute, it just stung that much more that my own husband didn't even notice.

However, we got to the restaurant and everyone made such a fuss over the baby and how cute she was that I was too proud to be upset anymore.

Now here's where I become a mom and I rant: Dinner was at six. Sofia usually goes to bed between seven and eight and I knew we were on a timeclock. She does well until she doesn't and I was hoping to get out of the restaurant without too much incident.

But the last of our party took forever to arrive. I kept looking around, willing him to get there so we could get started with dinner, the baby growing squirm-ier by the second. We were on our way to a meltdown and there was nothing I could do to speed dinner along.

Homeboy didn't arrive until almost 7:30 and by the time we got our entrees and finished it nearly nine. The restaurant was a teeny hole in the wall so when I got up to walk around with the baby, it was a short trip. Nursing her was another story. I have zero problems nursing in public but the tables in the hole in the wall restaurant were also teeny and I was seated across from Drew's boss - about six inches away. Our plates were practically touching so I wasn't about to whip it out at the table. I'm a ninja nurser - when I nurse in public you can hardly tell I'm doing it, but even I'm not that good. So I went to another part of the teeny restaurant to nurse her but that trick didn't phase her. She knew I was trying to put her to sleep and she was like, yeah I don't think so. Let's squirm and squeal and make sure everyone is looking at me!

We finally left and I was really steamed. I felt like I was the only one who was sensitive to the baby's bedtime, that everyone else was taking their sweet time, lingering over their meals and wine while I was shoveling my food in as quick as possible. However, it was really a no-win situation because I sort of had to meet the boss and the work people, we couldn't have gotten a sitter, and it had to be after work. That didn't stop me from being pissed that we kept the baby out past her bedtime. I felt like a bad mother and it made me realize that our nights of going out to dinner are quickly coming to an end.

Oh well - I fulfilled my duty, I play Wifey and now I can get back to what I'd really rather be doing: playing with my baby. Check it out!

Sorry for the poor quality - it was dim in the room and I

hastily grabbed my camera, but it was too cute not to share!

My kind of camping

2011-10-26T08:40:00.001-05:00

*You can vote once a day for Sofia! Click this link, click 'vote for me', then type the words in red, then click 'submit my vote.' Thank you!*

Now this is my kind of camping!

And we get to wear our fleece feetie pajamas!

I don't have to do laundry, I don't have to cook, there's no dog to shed all over my life, I have floor space to put the baby down and she can't go far - this is heaven!

We've been in Reading for a couple of days now and I'm super encouraged - I can totally see myself living here! The hotel is within walking distance of the town's main street and it's so super cute! Drew has been staying here for several weeks now so the hotel staff knows him pretty well and they knew we were coming. They all ooohed and aaahed over the baby and everyone has been so nice in welcoming us! It's very Small Town USA, like leaving your doors unlocked, although I don't know if you can really do that - it just seems that way. We picked up a costume for Sofia and the shops on the main street are having a Halloween party on Thursday and I'm really excited to participate!

I really like shops that used to be houses and the main street in lined with them.

We went exploring on Monday but most of the shops were closed.

Also, haute doesn't have an accent. Just sayin.

There's even a hippie shop!

I've already found two yoga studios too!

And the shopping! I am loving the no sales tax on clothes! We have done so much work at Carter's and I've already gotten Sofia two more feetie pajamas - it's a sickness. Plus, they had coupons for an extra 25% so really how can you blame me!

Okay, but tonight is the real deal. We're having dinner with Drew's boss so I have to be on. I have to be Wifey Extraordinaire and I'm on the verge of vomiting just thinking about it. Meeting strangers rarely goes well because I get flustered and it just goes downhill from there. As much as I try to make a smooth first impression, something always happens. Like yesterday.

Tuesday I got to meet the amazing gaw-jus Katie from Loves of Life. We met at the Philadelphia Premium Outlets, halfway-ish for both of us. Of course, the baby had a minor wig-out right before we left, which meant I was flustered, grabbing stuff as we headed out the door, which meant I was running late going to place I'd never been, driving for the first time in a new city. Good job Desiree.

I got there fifteen minutes late and met Katie in the parking lot. She is gaw-jus y'all! Eyelashes to die for!! And of course her little girl was adorable! We started chatting right away, which is the beautiful thing about blogging - you have a foundation for conversation which makes things a little easier. We headed for the Starbucks because I hadn't eaten and I was sure she could hear my stomach growling. I ordered and grabbed for my wallet.

It wasn't there.

I was standing there, making a fabulous first impression, digging in all the pockets of my diaper bag, not finding my wallet, digging, feeling my face get hot, digging, knowing that it's not there, digging anyway, good god she's going to think I'm such a tool, and Katie graciously stepped in and got my coffee and banana bread for me.

I am just not good at this.

Thankfully, she brushed it off and we continued walking around, talking. She's really easy to talk to and super down to earth. She struck me as one of those people with nothing to hide and it was refreshing. She's got beautiful clear eyes and when she talked about her husband and her baby, the love and happiness just floated off of her. I'm so happy she made the field trip for me!

And I found my stupid wallet - it was in my coat in the car, where I'd put it when I took Drew to work that morning. I'm such a tool.

I'm just hoping I can keep it together long enough that Drew's boss thinks I'm more like Katie and less like me. Here's hoping!

Vote for Sofia!

2011-10-24T09:45:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, on a whim I entered Sofia into a parents.com photo contest and I just got an email that she's a finalist!! How cool is that!

I used one of her weekly pictures and they chose her!

Of course, as her mother, I'm not at all surprised.

Won't you please take just a few seconds to vote for my baby? Click this link and cast your vote. I don't know if you have to register but if you do, please just do it this once? For my baby? Pretty please with sugar on top?

And then would you share it with your friends? I'm checking back tomorrow to see if you can vote once a day and it closes on the 30th so I won't bug you too much with it. It would be so cool if she won!

Thank you so much!

Oh yeah, it's high tech up in here

2011-10-22T12:42:00.001-05:00

Would you believe I'm doing this from my seat in first class at 37,000 feet? How cool is that?! Of course it just took me forever to type that because I'm using Drew's iPad and I hate these high tech new fangled thinga-mabobbers you kids have these days.

We're off to explore our new city for the week! Drew was going to be gone for a pretty long stretch and when he suggested we come up, of course I jumped. Getting upgraded never hurts either, amiright? So, while he's off working Sofia and I are going exploring and I plan to do WORK at these places that don't charge tax on clothes!

Have a wonderful weekend and I'll be back on Monday with my first impressions!

The internet made me do it

2011-10-17T11:40:00.000-05:00

Reason 812 Why I Love The Internet/Blogging: It inspires me. I look at things I see on the web, done by normal people just like me and it makes me think I could do it. I see people make mistakes, laugh it off, try again and have beautiful successes and it takes away my fear. I get all bold and empowered and I tell myself that I can paint furniture, I can reupholster a seat - it even makes me just delusional enough to think I can cook!

Did I ever tell you we have a peach tree? Drew knows I love peaches and one day last summer he came home with a peach tree just for me! So sweet right! Then my friend Stacie posted a recipe for a peach crisp and I was all hey! I have a peach tree! I can do this!

The ones on the left were from the tree, the ones on the right

were mutant peaches from the store.

Stacie's recipe is on the left and I used strawberries instead of blueberries and

I also made The Pioneer Woman's cobbler on the right.

Stacie's was waaaay better!

Then, my bestie Ryan wrote about how he made The Pioneer Woman's pot roast in his Fretch oven and I was like hey! I have a Fretch oven! I can do this!

This is merely proof that I did it. If you want step by step instructions

with gorgeous pictures, go to Ryan's blog.

But I did it! I even made mashed potatoes from scratch for Sunday dinner!

Well, I did it again, only this time it wasn't food. I was on Better After one day and she wrote about a girl who had made over an old pair of jeans. I was like hey! I have old jeans! I can do this! But this wasn't cooking, it was sewing!! Remember when I was so scared of my sewing machine? Well, that hasn't completely gone away even though I've used it a handful of times. But I went to the girl's blog, studied up and figured I had nothing to lose. I didn't wear the jeans anyway so if I messed them up, it wasn't that big a deal. Then I also remembered that my old standby, Young House Love, did a post on dyeing things so between the two of them I figured I could do it. These are regular people doing regular things so I have nothing to be afraid of.

Exhibit A: Fake Seven jeans from Ebay.

All the details are right, but the denim is really cheap.

I was so pissed when I received them because they were all

"Authentic Seven Jeans!" and I paid the Authentic Seven price - serves me right.

But I never wore them because the wash made them look so bad and so fake.

Perfect for experimental sewing and dyeing.

This is the side you want to sew. I turned them inside out, eyballed it and started sewing.

I only took one picture because I was pretty sure it wasn't going to work.

Very first pass with the sewing machine.

Boot cut on the left, skinny-ish on the right.

I did the other leg and then came the dye.

They don't sell it anywhere in Dallas, so I got mine from Amazon.

Amazon has everything.

At the last minute, I threw in another pair of my jeans.

I didn't sew these, but the wash was a little light and dated.

I studied the YHL tutorial, even using a paint stick like they did.

Her tutorial wasn't clear about stirring until the salt was dissolved and I

stirred forever and it really wasn't dissolving, so I dumped it in the washer and prayed.

Then we played while I prayed to the baby Jesus that I didn't just ruin my washer.

I set the cycle on heavy duty and did an extra rinse just like Sherry said. When the cycle was over, I took the jeans out with my eyes closed because I was convinced that my washer was going to be a mess of dye and the jeans would be the exact same. Then we left the house, something about distancing myself from the (theoretical) mess. But I had to get the jeans out sometime. I had to see what I'd done.

It worked!!! I dyed my jeans and now I have two more pairs of jeans in my rotation, which is a godsend because while I'm loving breastfeeding, it's sucking the pounds off and all my clothes hang on me - I look like a hobo. But look at my jeans!

Because we all love a good before and after.

I put some wedge heels on so they didn't bunch at the bottom because

I'm not confident enough to attempt hemming.

The difference on the other jeans is a little more difficult

to pick up on camera.

They have a bluish, grayish color and it's way more uniform

and looks much nicer.

It's like I have two new pairs of jeans!

And yes, they have crystals and stitching on the ass which is one

of the other reasons why I last wore these in 2006. But since

I'm scrawny now, they have to come out of retirement and the new color

makes them a little more palatable.

Oh, and my washer is completely fine. I wiped off the door and the rubber ring before I did another load and I said many Hail Marys when I was putting the clothes in, but they came out just fine. Therefore, iDye is my new favorite toy. The other dyes you have to dump in the sink, stir constantly, you run the risk of your sink getting stained and it's just a mess. iDye is totally easy to use and I'm already scoping out my next project. I'm thinking about this t-shirt pillow. Instead of just one color, what if you did a bunch of different tones in the same color family for the rosettes? I saw this one and I was like hey! I have a bunch of t-shirts! I could do this!

Please god don't let me come across a sky-diving or make-your-own bungee cord tutorial. With enough wine, I just might do it.

Baby style

2011-10-13T12:40:00.001-05:00

I like fashion and by fashion I mean, I enjoy looking cute and I get upset when I don't. My style is sleek and simple and I've found that it extends to my baby as well. I don't care for all the baby fuss when it comes to clothes. Case in point: I will not ever dress my child like this.

"Whoever did this to me is getting cut."

Remember how I got more clothes than God at my baby showers? And how her closet and drawers are stuffed with clothes? I had each drawer sorted by size and we're into her six months stuff now *sniff* so I went ahead and put away the spring/summer/too small stuff and I came across some.....interesting baby clothes.

Now I consider myself a pretty laid back mom. I think I have a pretty good handle on my thoughts and philosophies regarding how I want to raise my child and I definitely want her to have the confidence to be her own person. But as long as *I'm* dressing her, there will be some rules.

No tutus or labels. I may piss off the giant-flower-tutu contingent of moms out there because I'm depriving my daughter but rest assured, I will fill her closet with tutus if she should ever ask for them. Until then, these have to go.

I will pass on outfits that have credit cards on them shouting

'high maintenance.' It's not that kind of party.

Plus, the tutu doesn't even go all the way around.

Even though this one has a full tutu, 'candy girl'

sounds just sexual enough to make me uncomfortable.

This one is sorta cute, but it loses by default because it'll

be too cold by the time Sofia can fit into it. *Darn.*

I know it's just a onesie, but I'd rather not label her this early.

Besides, it's unfair to her - what if she turns out to be a kind, quiet yoga kid?

Nope, not wearing this one either.

While I don't mind Paul Frank per se, this one

creeps me out nonetheless.

No unfortunate designs. When designing clothes, first there's the sketch. Someone has to approve the sketch, saying 'that would look cute in real life! Let's make one and see!' Then they make the sample, saying 'oh that does look cute! Let's make a bunch and see if stores will sell them!' Then the stores look at the samples and say 'oh, these are cute! Let's buy a bunch and sell them to our customers!' Then people buy them saying 'oh this will look darling on my baby!'

So after all those steps, can someone please tell me how I came to be in possession of a pair of anus pants?!

I don't agree with designs on the butt anyway, for anyone.

I never understood that whole 'Juicy' phase, where people everywhere

invited total strangers to think about their juicy butts.

But HOW did the baby clothes designers let this one slide!?

No designer labels. No one needs to know who made your outfit or where you got it. Besides being a little pretentious, it's so mundane. I don't need my handbag to scream COACH, GUCCI, LOUIS V. I go for good materials and good workmanship over a loud label. The same goes for my clothes. I could never get behind that trend in jeans where they put all kinds of crap on the pockets, like glitters and crystals and white stitching all over the place.

Foul. Just foul.

Give me a pair of dark, well made, crystal-free jeans any day. You can keep your Ed Hardy nonsense - I'm not 12. But this isn't about me, it's about my baby.

In case the stitching and designs have blinded you, this is a

Dereon onesie - you know, Beyonce's label?

I don't even know where this came from.

Thanks but no thanks.

My baby will look like a baby. I don't have any pictures of inappropriate clothes because thank God, Sofia doesn't have any. But she will not wear anything that makes her look like she's older than she is. There will be no fast babies in this house.

Now, feetie pajamas? I loooooove feetie pajamas and

I'm so happy it's finally getting cool enough to wear them!

Sofia has eight pair of feetie pajamas, which is kind of silly.

I'm so grateful that I've had the privilege of going more than six months without needing to buy Sofia clothes. Anything I've purchased her was because I wanted to (like those feetie pajamas.) But now that I get to start buying things for her I'm scoping out the stores I like.

I have several multi piece sets from Vitamins Baby and I love them. They are so sweet and delicate and I love dressing the baby in them, but I don't know where they came from. Every time we go out, I look for them but I haven't had much luck. I'm also in love with Tea Collection. Their baby girl clothes are so flippin cute I could die! But the prices make me choke! Why the eff are cute kid's clothes so expensive!? It's not like they're going to wear them for years and years! Same thing with Mini Boden. I'm going to start stalking the consignment stores.

As for the other clothes, I don't know what to do with them. Do I put them on Ebay -Weird baby clothes for sale? Do I give them to Goodwill? I hate the idea of another little girl wearing something that says 'Drama Queen' on it. I don't want to perpetuate this idea that it's okay for girls to be crazy, yet throwing them away seems excessive and wasteful.

Where exactly is the Purgatory for weird baby clothes?

Quiet on the home front

2011-10-12T17:38:00.002-05:00

It's been quiet around here. Not that nothing has been happening, because life is still happening. The world is still turning but I haven't been feeling the compulsion to write like I normally do. After I thought about it for a quick second, I realized it's because I don't have any drama anymore.

Me.

No. More. Drama.

I never thought I would get to this place. Monday, Drew and I celebrated two years of being married. My parents came in town to babysit and we went to a ridiculously decadent dinner that lasted three hours. We had oysters, champagne, wine, amazing food and I didn't have to wear a nursing bra. Do you know how major that is? It was like we were on a date - we only briefly talked about the baby and the night couldn't have been more perfect.

Do you know where we were last year?

I was in a hotel - by myself. We'd gotten into an AWFUL fight, I left, he locked me out and it was very iffy if our marriage was going to see another day - like, for real for real. Don't bother looking for that post - I didn't write about it because there is such a thing as too much drama. I'm only talking about it now because I'm in awe of how far we've come.

Getting married was drama. Trying to get pregnant was drama. God KNOWS the pregnancy was drama. But now?

It's quiet.

Well, not really - I have the baby in the Ergo on my chest and she's babbling and cooing and grabbing my cheeks.

But other than that, it's quiet.

Not to say that we don't have our flare-ups but they die down just as quickly as they start. The baby is amazingly easy and I haven't had any meltdowns recently.

The house is still on the market - the first two weeks we had lots of interest, but nothing since then. Drew is traveling back and forth until it sells but we're about to enter the holiday season and the real estate market is about to grind to a halt, so the travel is going to be our life for a while. It's not a shock and I'm thankful that I'm pretty well used to it.

What I'm trying to say is - I think I have blogger's block! Writing is what kept me from climbing the walls and going postal when the world was upside down. But things have righted themselves and I find myself staring at my blog, fingers poised over the keyboard, and nothing comes.

That's the challenge when you're a life blogger. If your life isn't blog-worthy, what are you supposed to write? I don't have a house to re-do. I sure as HELL can't cook so being a food blogger is all the way out. I'm certainly not a mommy blogger - I will not be telling you about the time I danced with glee because my daughter pooped. (I really did that. She hadn't pooped for days and I was starting to get worried. When she finally did, I was that mom who got happy over her kid's poop. I'm not proud of it.) Well, I guess I just wrote about that. Shit. I'm not funny on purpose and I'm certainly not snarky. It's not a good color on me.

So, here I am. Thankful for my outlet but wondering what to do now that it's no longer the outlet it used to be. I don't know where to go from here. I'm looking for what feels right, so if over the next few posts I crank out something that's truly awful, please bear with me and I apologize in advance. I'm in a new race and I have yet to hit my rhythm.

You thought I was going to say stride, didn't you?

Just keep livin'

2011-10-06T21:32:00.003-05:00

My parents are in town for the weekend and I'm so excited, I just can't hide it. My dad is verry set in his ways and isn't that fond of traveling anymore, but my magical baby can draw him from his comfy home. It's so good to see them and I'm going to soak them up and the baby is going to have some Grandma and Grandpa time!

Because they're here, Drew and I are going to a real-live grown-up dinner Saturday night for our wedding anniversary. We made it two years! Seriously, I can't believe it because the first year was so freakin HARD. So many MANY times I wasn't sure we were going to make it. But we did and we are celebrating 24 months of survival, I mean, wedded bliss. We've got nowhere to go but up, people!

So, I'm going to take these next few days and just live. I'm going to be in the moment, not take pictures of the moment, not try to remember the moment in fun and witty ways for blog content later, I'm going to just be. And I'm really excited about that.

Have a wonderful weekend and I'll see you soon!

You must not know about me

2011-10-05T09:38:00.000-05:00

*You guys! My very first guest post ever is up! Go read it and leave Carolyn a little love note because she's all married up now and we love marriage and we love Carolyn!*

I'm probably going to jinx myself, but the baby is back on her routine and has a somewhat predictable bedtime now! It's a beautiful thing, as I can count on me-time with increasing frequency. *Please baby gods, don't smite me.*

With this new-found nighttime freedom, I've been making friends! Okay, fine, just one but we've totally hit if off! Meet my new bestie Ryan! We first met in the comments of another blog (who needs no traffic from me) on a post regarding breastfeeding in public and y'all know how quickly those can get ugly! What's a guy doing in the middle of a boobie fight, you might ask? I know, me too so I read what he had to say and was thoroughly impressed. What I liked best is how he put that blogger in her place when she got a little out of hand. So impressed that I went to his blog to tell him how cool I thought he was, and what do I find? A kindred spirit! His 'about me' page called out to me! Photography! Hates needles (holla if ya hear me!!!) Jason Bateman!

Side note: Did y'all know I have a thing for Jason Bateman? Because I totally do and I'm so very happy that Arrested Development is coming back!

I did what any normal blogger/stalker would do and started reading all his posts, drooling over the pretty pictures (I want my pictures to look like that when my blog grows up), agreeing with his viewpoints, laughing over his wit, getting a lump in my throat over his honesty, and basically falling in blogger-love.

While we were on vacation, I was checking on him and the boobie fight got a little stupid and so I put up a quick comment sticking up for him. I would have said more but I try to keep the thuggery confined to my own blog. So, while I kept it cool on the other blog, what I really wanted to do was go all True Blood magister on they asses.

Ryan - 1:38 - that's for you, boo.

I may do a follow-up post with my thoughts about breastfeeding in public, but honestly there's so much noise about that on the internet, I don't know how adding my voice to the fray will do anything.

Besides, all I really wanted to do was put up that video for Ryan.

Because I will break out the Magister for my friends.

The rest of Rio

2011-10-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

We were on vacation for ten days and the thought of recounting every little bit hurts my head. Besides, at the rate I'm going it's going to be Christmas before I'm through so what say we wrap this up with a bunch of pictures? That's all anyone really cares about, right? Right.

See, I let her get in the water! It just took me a few days to get

comfortable with the idea.

We got a tour guide for our sightseeing and he took us to

the Selaron steps where we met the artist himself!

He was enamored with the baby and signed some of his tiles for her!

The statue of the Christ was amazing!

It was crazy windy that day but definitely worth the trip!

We also went to one of the oldest churches in Rio that was an actual working monastery.

I took this picture while they were having Mass and totally got in trouble.

We spent time at the flying saucer museum and while we didn't go in,

the views were so beautiful!

At the Parque da Cidade with Sugar Loaf Mountain in the background.

Goofing off with Rafa, our amazing tour guide

Rafa was so sweet and knowledgeable and I was really bummed that we

only got to spend a couple of days with him - it was like hanging out

with a great friend who knows all the best restaurants!

Plus, he was a really good sport. We were punchy from having eaten everything in sight

that day so this video may be dumb to you but it makes me laugh every single time. Not safe for work due to a curse word at the end.

Shopping in Rio was a bust. Not only was everything really expensive, they were

going into summer and I couldn't justify spending that much money on things I'd

only be able to wear for a month or so. Can you believe these shoes were about $100US?!

They weren't even that cute! The bottom is the layaway price.

Rio loves babies! Yes, I told Drew to take a picture of me in the family bathroom

because I was so impressed. No matter where we were there were changing tables.

You have no idea how awesome that is until you have to change your baby

on a disgusting bathroom floor.

They even had teeny tiny toilets!

Yes, I made him take this picture.

I'm a mom now, toilets for babies excite me.

Our hotel was full the last two days of our visit so we moved to

La Maison which was so very very chic.

I'd never stayed in a boutique hotel before and it was nice!

The owner and his wife were so sweet and we met a couple from Kansas City there!

With only five rooms, we laughed at how small the world can be sometimes.

We also went to the botanic garden, with their giant Amazon trees.

By this time, my camera was full so we were taking pictures with

Drew's phone and playing with Hipstamatic.

They had a huge orchid display - I had no idea there were

that many varieties of orchids.

It was a full vacation, yet we didn't feel rushed or that we missed anything. The people in Rio were super friendly and almost everywhere we went they made kissy faces at the baby or told us how cute she was. There were even special checkout lines at the mall for people with strollers! Even though I was really upset that I didn't speak Portuguese, no one was rude about it and I finally gave up and just started speaking Spanish. I was surprised at how frustrated I was - I so desperately didn't want to come across as the ugly American. But everyone was so nice about it and as long as we tried and said please and thank you in Portuguese, it was all good.

And! AND! We didn't fight! Not once! Do you know how major that is?! Of all the trips we've taken, this was the very first time we didn't tussle! Not at all! We may be getting the hang of this marriage thing after all.

Look at my baby.

Party crashers

2011-10-02T23:17:00.000-05:00

We arrived in Rio on a Thursday morning. While exploring the grounds, we had drinks in the hotel bar/restaurant and tried our best to chat up the waitress, language barrier be damned. I know I'm about to sound like a douchbag, but how in the world are you supposed to get around when you don't speak the language??

Anyway, thank God our server spoke some English and she told us about feijoada and how that was a major Brazilian thing. Now that I've had it, I can say it's black bean stew with every kind of meat you can imagine and lots of fixins. For real, Brazilians are serious about their meat. However, trying to get a straight explanation beforehand was super hard, because feijoada is way more than just the meal. It's part celebration, part fellowship, part party, part meal. I'd say the English equivalent is barbecue. BBQ describes the meat, but it's also used as a descriptor (is that the word I want?), as in "we're having *a* barbecue this weekend", and the word barbecue more often than not makes you think picnic, party, backyard, event. In my humble opinion, that's what I think feijoada is.

We knew we wanted to participate and lucky for us, the hotel was having a feijoada the Saturday we arrived. Although I don't know how lucky we were because it turned out to be a 'per-plate' fundraiser.

You know that moment where you realize that you're in over your head or you've gone too far but you can't do anything about it because you'll look even sillier than you already do? That's how we were standing in line for the feijoada. We were hungry, we thought it was an open event for hotel guests and we sure as hell didn't think it would be that expensive but we were already at the front of the line, there were people behind us, the lady was staring at us, and Drew and I were hissing at each other.

It costs how much? Oh hell no!
What do you want me to do? Where are we going to eat?
I don't know but I'm sure as hell not paying that much for some damn food!
Look, we're here, it's going to be late soon, let's just do it. We saved for this, it's fine.
Are you kidding me?
It's fine, just come on. People are staring at us.
You think I care? Fine. Shit. This better be good.

We had no clue what we were doing but it was a buffet with an open bar. For that much money, I was going to eat until they had to roll me out of there.

All of these people were locals and they appeared to know each other. Great.

We had no idea what the fundraiser was or why they were having it but we shrugged our shoulders and filled our plates.

Each of the pots had a different meat.

No idea if I did it right. I tried to look at other people and

do what they did but it seemed like everyone had their

own way of making their plate.

Second helping, with rice this time. Still don't know if I'm

doing it right but I'm getting my money's worth if it kills me.

Dessert too, bitches. I got one of everything.

If I could have gotten a to-go box I would have.

This shit was expensive!

They were giving out shirts too and you best believe we both got one!

Everyone was putting it on over their clothes, so we did too.

Do I look like a local?

But then it all became okay because guess what? We got to see samba girls!!

When you think Rio, you think Carnaval, samba, party all night, all that. I knew we wouldn't get to see that side of Rio because we were traveling as a family which wasn't that big a deal to me. But to get to see samba girls was such a cool bonus and here's where I really wish I knew how to take awesome pictures because mine don't do these girls or their costumes justice. They were awesome!

That's the cool thing about Brazil - they are what it means to be comfortable in your skin. These girls were nearly naked but there wasn't a hint of lewdness or embarrassment. It was just beauty and fun and party time! And they moved so fast! This is the closest video I found because of course I didn't take a video of the coolest part!

I'm so bummed I didn't get better pictures because these girls were so pretty and their costumes were so sparkly! Getting to see them and all the great food made the ridiculous price worthwhile. After that, we kind of loosened up and joined the festivities. Who cares that we didn't speak the language or that we had no idea what was going on. We both even took turns dancing with the baby.

We ended up having a great time, stuffing our faces and I will admit it *was* nice being able to have a great dinner and just go up to our room afterwards. We ended up hanging out around the hotel the next couple of days and by then we were ready to go sight-seeing. We were ready to meet our tour guide!

Only in Rio

2011-09-29T21:27:00.000-05:00

We tossed around a lot of spots when we were talking about vacation. Drew had a kabillion frequent flier and hotel points so we talked about Europe, South America, even China! We're both beach people so Greece came up, as did Fiji, as well as my first choice, always and forever, France. As in, the south of.

However, there were just as many restrictions as there were options. If we could get the flight, we couldn't get the hotel for the same days, or vice versa, or we couldn't get on the same flight, or we'd have to make a ton of stops which was unacceptable with a baby. In the end, out of all our destination possibilities, Rio won. I'm dramatically shortening this because it was a straight-up nightmare trying to coordinate flights, hotels, dates and right in the middle of the planning, Drew started getting blown up with interviews so we actually had to push the vacation from August to September, basically starting the whole process over again. It was so much hassle we almost gave up and had another staycation. Then we had to get a passport for the baby and visas for all of us and that about made me vomit with how expensive it was. So much for our free vacation. And oh yeah, we went ahead and put the house on the market because things weren't hectic enough.

BUT, we prevailed and soon enough it was time to go!

Crossing everything hoping we get first class.

It didn't work.

Please baby Jesus don't let the baby scream her face

off the whole way there.

I look so tired because we were running around last minute

trying not to forget stuff, which I totally did.

Who forgets swim diapers when you're going to the BEACH??

The baby did wonderfully on the flight. It was a night flight, thank God so she wasn't too disoriented. However, she sleeps in complete darkness and that was not happening with the commotion of the meal service, lights, movies and she wasn't sure if she was supposed to be up or asleep or scream so she did all three. It was only after Drew built a mini-tent over her seat that blocked out light and sound that she finally slept and once she was down, she stayed asleep. I didn't sleep much because I was constantly peeking under the blankets to make sure she didn't roll off the seat and every time I dozed I jerked awake expecting to find the baby on the floor. Thankfully, she didn't and after ten hours we arrived in Rio.

It's always so cool to hear the welcome message in a foreign language when you travel. That first time you hear the language is so wonderfully disorienting and I love it! For the record, Portuguese is nowhere near similar to Spanish so I was way out of my element. I could sort of read things but I couldn't make heads or tails of the spoken language. At one point, I was near tears because I was so frustrated at my inability to communicate because that has never happened to me. Speaking Spanish and French, I have always been able to get around and be understood so this was all new for me.

I resorted to the point-and-smile when communicating with the driver taking us to the hotel. Thank God he had a sign with my name on it and he knew where he was going but I felt really helpless and kind of rude when I wasn't able to make small talk with him on the way there. We sat in silence and checked out the scenery. It was very industrial and not pretty at all. I remember thinking I hope our hotel is prettier than this.

Which it totally was! Palm trees, pretty lobby, friendly staff and I was happy! It doesn't hurt that Drew is Platinum Executive Admiral Gold Star Professional Traveler with the hotels because we got to use the extra special people line and we got to go straight to the room - with a bottle of wine and plate of cheese as a welcome gift! Now that's what I'm talkin about!

We slept most of the first day but the second we went straight to the beach.

The hotel had its own beach for the guests and there was a particularly colorful one joining us. Apparently, the Miss Universe pageant was in Sao Paulo the night before and he was a photographer for it. They came to Brazil for the pageant but spent a few days in Rio before heading back to the States. I didn't pay him too much mind until he put on the wig. I sat up when he put on the sash. When he put the crown on and started jumping around and posing, I got out my camera.

Hanging out with Cal, I mean Miss USA

Turns out, Miss USA wasn't very nice. Let that be a lesson: don't piss people off or they'll make fun of of you on the beach in Rio.

Not bad for a first day of vacation, right?

It feels so good to be back!

2011-09-27T13:24:00.003-05:00

We're home! We made it! Sofia survived two ten hour plane rides! Her parents survived them too!

Rio was amazing and wonderful and I've been sorting and fixing and uploading pictures and videos and I'm laughing because we have a couple hundred pictures and about 20 videos and I'd say 80% of them are of the baby.

For instance, check out the view from our room.

By that I mean, look at my baby.

Isn't the ocean beautiful?

Or you could look at my baby.

We hung out by the pool.

Look at my baby.

We dug our toes in the sand.

Look at my baby.

We even had some great meals!

Sofia's first solid from Desiree on Vimeo.

I'm kidding I'm kidding! We did lots of other things, we got some great pictures and I have fun stories to tell! However, I'm dealing with the ~~hell~~ fun that is re-establishing a schedule so for now I have to run.

It's good to be home!

Hitting My Stride

Mean people suck

Birthday prep: Decorations

Attempted murder, infanticide, elective surrogacy and mommy guilt: A children's story

The shed-yule

Nine

A pox on my house

Giddy

Mom hair

Wordless Wednesday (sort of)

The Mom Bag

I survived Santa

Baby style: The Christmas edition

It's a Christmas miracle!

I'm thankful for YOU!

Falling down

Thinking on Thursday

I was dreaming when I wrote this

PS, I hate food

Beautiful

Because I can't say anything else

Round two goes to The Mom

Send coffee

Why yes, I *have* had work done

Lieutenant Dangle

I don't care if Halloween has passed

I'm just a girl, I mean mom

My kind of camping

Vote for Sofia!

Oh yeah, it's high tech up in here

The internet made me do it

Baby style

Quiet on the home front

Just keep livin'

You must not know about me

The rest of Rio

Party crashers

Only in Rio

It feels so good to be back!

Why yes, I have had work done