Thursday, December 13, 2012

JTAKU part 2

Here's the first one, because even though I'm only a little buzzed you should still probably read these in order because it'll make a little more sense.

Okay, to recap, today was a suck day for me.  First because I'm a frump and I need fashion help.  That was the first post.

This one is for serious.  It's about Sofia and how I'm failing her.  And I'm about to get all drunk-sad so it's probably good you can't see me.  You guys!  I need to be a good mom to her and I feel like I'm failing.

It's her school.  I use the term so loosely because it's a morning program at a church and they really only just keep them alive until I come pick her up.  I'm unhappy with them and I need you to talk me off the ledge.  

Sofia is so smart.  Like crazy smart and yeah, I'm biased because she's my kid and maybe if you tested her, she'd just be regular.  But just the same, she amazes me hourly.  And I feel guilty when I have to do laundry or the dishes or vacuum when I should be teaching her calculus or playing Mozart because I bet she would get it.

I went to pick her up on Monday and when I walked in, the tv was on, and I got livid.

We don't have cable at our house and the tv is rarely on.  I say rarely because when I have to cook dinner or let's be honest, *I'm* the one who needs a time out, I sho'will turn on Yo Gabba Gabba so I can get a minute to myself.

I feel guilty as hell, but I feel like tv is *my* privilege.  I'm the only one who is with her 24-7 and if you're only watching her for two hours twice a week, you can get by without turning the tv on.  I know she's not in some hoity toity advanced boarding school, but damn!  It's two hours!  Do you need to have the tv on?  Can't you maybe teach her some shit?

But I'm torn because I've grown to love my two free hours twice a week.  One time?  I got Starbucks and wandered around Pier 1 for over an hour just looking at stuff and it was magical.  Because yeah, the yoga?  That shit was a joke.  I didn't even break a sweat and barely raised my heart rate above sleeping.  In my world, that's not yoga.  I need to be sweating, shaking and smiling.  

And their "crafts" are an even bigger joke.
Does it look like a one-year-old made this?
When I arrived to pick her up, all the "crafts" were lined up outside the room.
Every last one of them looked identical.
The teachers just made them and put the kids' names on them!
That's not craft time!  What was my kid doing while the teachers were crafting for them?

That annoyed me to no end and I was going to do better.  I was going to be better.  My daughter and I were going to make a real craft, one where she was in charge, where she would be the one to create.  It was going to be magical, I was going to guide my daughter to find her creative muse, to unlock that little toddler mind.  I was going to foster that greatness in her!


I went to Michael's and bought a canvas because I was going to let her fingerpaint all over it and then I was going to paint over it like this.
It was going to be awesome.
I laid everything out and was like "Are you ready?"
She was all "Ready!!"
And then I died of the cuteness.
But this was as far as we got.
Because fingerpainting was a bust.
Busta Rhymes.

My muse?  My little Picasso?  My artista?  Doesn't like getting her hands dirty.  She looooves her markers, she haaaates finger paints.  She dipped one finger in, rubbed it on the canvas and shoved her hand in my face and was all "HANDS" as in, my hands are dirty clean them now woman.

You guys.  I was crushed.  I was so proud of myself for being better than her dumb "school".  *I* wasn't going to stifle her creativity, *I* was going to let her blossom and explore and I felt like the biggest failure when I couldn't get my kid to be creative.  I felt like even more of a failure when after five seconds of painting she went to the living room and was all "TV!  Gabba!"

I felt like I couldn't do anything right.  I let her watch too much tv.  I'm not exposing her to enough stuff.  She's going to be the deprived kid and it'll be my fault because I read blogs when I should be teaching her.

Except that staying at home day in and day out is hard.  I feel so isolated, especially since it's gotten cold and getting out of the house is the biggest pain in my ass.  Kid mittens are the devil.  And getting the coat and the hat and the mittens and the diaper bag and putting the dog away and getting my keys and setting the alarm and walking out only to realize I left my phone and have to go back and then re-set the alarm, lug all that shit to the car, take off the coat and hat and mittens because they can't wear that shit in the carseat and it takes for-frickin-EVER and did I mention Sofia hates bundling up?  As soon as one mitten is on and I try to do the other one, she pulls off the first one.  The hat rarely stays on her head, the coat is a joke and as much as I plead with her that you can't go outside naked, child! she still fights to put all that stuff on.  It makes me so tired I just want to stay home.

But we can't stay home.  I have to get out in the world, I have to teach her, we have to interact, socialize.  So it takes us thirty minutes to walk out the door for an hour playdate that inevitably ruins naptime and the whole day is shot.

Because then she's all clingy and having a person attached to you for upwards of 8 hours a day every single day all the damn time is tough and I feel like a troll for wanting my space, and then I feel like I've failed again.  Too soon, she'll be all independent and not want anything to do with me and I'll long for the days when she refused to let me put her down.  I know that and it makes me feel that much worse for not being able to enjoy her clingy moments.

And that's why Drew got me drunk.  Because I was at the dinner table crying because Sofia was all "Hole you!" and the last thing I wanted to do was hold her because that's what I'd been doing all damn day with the exception of the five seconds I tried to be an awesome mom and encourage her creativity and failed at that.  And now I didn't even want to hold my own kid and I hated myself.  I just wanted to take five seconds to pee alone.  That's all.  Thank God he bathed her and those few moments by myself with that glass of wine were perfect.  And I hated that I enjoyed it that much.  I felt like a terrible person and the shame cycle started all over.

I want to take her out of school because they're not teaching her, but I obviously can't do any better and I'm scared to give up that me time.  I'm so torn and I have no idea if anyone else has ever gone through this.  I don't know what to do and Drew is encouraging me not to give up my time.  I just don't feel like I'm doing right by her keeping her in there, but I'm definitely not doing right by her if I'm so worn thin that I can't even hold her when she wants me to.

Please tell me you, or your cousin's neighbor's best friend's sister went through this.  Because I feel like the worst mother ever right now and I hate that.



  1. So. No kids here, but I did help raise 8 cousins.

    First, you need to take it EASY on yourself. You are obviously a kick-ass mom (pssh, I can see it from those photos alone). You and Drew are raising a thoughtful, independent little girl who (possibly?) is perhaps clingier than normal due to all the recent changes in your life? New town, new house, etc.

    I'm an Army brat. We moved ...a lot. I can't think of how many times. Both my brother and I went through ridiculously clingy phases, without really knowing why. Moves are hard on kids, even if they can't vocalize it. You've eased the transition, but it's possible that Sofia still senses a difference.

    Also, two year olds LOVE routine. So the TV has nothing to do with a lack of artistic sensibility, and everything to do with familiarity and routine.

    Now, have you thought of trying the same art project, but with crayons/pastel markers/etc? Something she can get into with less mess on her hands. There's also collage - you could cut out colorful shapes and let her arrange them on a board, then you could glue them in place. (I keep seeing Modge Podge mentioned on the Internet...what is that? I feel like it could work.) Point being, Sofia has to find her creative outlet. So, it's not finger-painting. It took me until I was 15 to develop any artistic senses - and that's because I discovered photography.

    Sorry this is such a long comment. You have every right to feel your feelings, but ease up a bit on schooling yourself. You are trying, and you are succeeding. Every day. ::hugs::

  2. Oh D! please don't be so hard on yourself. Staying home with a kid has got to be the hardest thing ever. We arent supposed to be so isolated. Our society is screwed up like this, putting women in ridiculously unnatural situation. The fact that you are so concerned means you are an awesome mom. Really. And really, craft projects at day care? they are like two cotton balls glued to a piece of paper, or three scribbles with a marker. Yesterday I brought home Maddy's art and the mostinteresting piece was white construction paper cut into a triangle (that the teacher did) and a green smear across the top. The teacher wrote a note explaining that they had "painted" with a branch from a christmas tree. I think your expectations were WAY too high. I think the key at this age is that you talk to them and teach them that other people have feelings, like, "so and so was playing with that so you need to wait until they are done." I love that Maddy's "school" does projects and stuff, but most of the time the teachers are explaining to them why you don't hit each other and to wash their hands. I think you likely have that covered pretty well. That said, I totally agree that Sofia's school shouldnt have them watch tv. That is lame. But it is only for two hours, so really, is it that ig a deal? Like my dad has said to me numerous times, if mama isn't happy no one is. I think that is good advice. You need to figure out how to get the alone brain-relax time you need. It is absolutely essential. Sofia will grow up to be awesome. Learning that mama isn't at her beck and call every single second of the day, that is a pretty essential life skill.
    love, inB

  3. When I was younger I dremed of being a SHM, but now that I have a two-year old you coulddn't pay me to stay at home with her all day. I relish daycare! Plus, I really do think she is better off with professionals than with me.

    Earlier this year I had her in a new daycare (we had just moved) and one day I walked in they were sitting their watching tv. That was my final straw with them. IMO daycare shouldn't even HAVE tv. Totally unacceptable.

    I think you should find another daycare and I think you should do more than 2 hours a week. Like to half days or maybe even 2 full days. It will seriously do you and S some good. You need time apart! You need me time and she needs to socialize and get used to other people.

  4. HI! One year old daycare teacher piping in. Devil's advocate regarding school and tv: Do you walk in and they often have the tv on? Was it a holiday program? Do they have children in care for longer than what Sofia is there for? I just want to pose some of those questions, because if it's only once in a great while and they do have a full-day program, sometimes a special show is ok.

    The crafts. The ones you showed ARE a joke...they are not developmentally appropriate and that is not ok. Elementary school aged children shouldn't be doing "craft-by-numbers" crafts like that either. My one year old class sends home a TON of finger paintings, crayon drawings, etc that don't look like anything. Sometimes, SOMEtimes we send home a "done" craft that includes handprints/footprints, etc that are really gifts for parents. You know like a handprint turkey that you know the child didn't choose to paint their hand brown and their fingers different colors and draw on feet and a beak. I do those crafts for special holidays and usually it involves a PART of the child. You parents really love seeing hand/footprints of your babies...and when you get those things out later in life can say..."look how small your hand was at Thanksgiving 2012." Ask her teachers if they do any other types of crafting...such as crayon drawing, finger painting, etc and if you can see those endeavors too. And unless it has her hand or foot or finger print on it...toss out the other crafts. They aren't worth saving.

    As far as your encouraging her creativity and it being a not the truth. She touched the fingerpaints. She felt the texture of the canvas, she felt the cool, slippery paints on her hands. SHE LEARNED. Sure, maybe the end result wasn't what you had hoped for, and the process didn't last long...but try again. She may do the same thing, but she may decide that she really likes it that time and go to town. A LOT of "ones" don't like to get their hands dirty and fingerpaints feel funny, donchaknow.

    You are not a failure. You are a mom who is also a person. You need your personal space just like anyone else.

    If you choose to take her out of the program she is in, try to find another one. You need your "me" time and Sofia will benefit from continued exposure to other children and caregivers.

    AND YAY for being drunk! :D

  5. Okay, I don't comment a lot but I love reading your blog because first of all you have one of the cutest babies around :) and second of all, I know how it feels to be a "fish out of water." What I mean is moving to a new place and trying to get your groove on. I moved to the Carolinas (first NC then SC) over 7 years ago. Talk about culture shock. I grew up in Hawaii and lived mainly in the west before coming out here. I have two boys. One is 6 and the other is 3. My oldest went to a church preschool and now my youngest is going to one. The first preschool my oldest went to was a MMO (Mommy Morning Out) program. Sounds similar to the one Sofia is going to. The main purpose of that was so my son at the time could get social interaction. He basically played the whole time he was going there. BUT, that's what I wanted. My older son was an early reader (3 years) and is beyond smarter than I or his daddy was at his age. The kids do get a lot out of play social interaction. At the same time, there was no TV there. You can always talk to the director and ask why they were watching TV. When we moved, we changed over to a traditional church preschool. This one actually has a curriculum and everything is laid out. They occasionally will watch a movie (rarely but only during certain times). But they do teach them there. You know, you can always look around for a different preschool. Believe me, I'm a SAHM, and I need the time where I can rejuvenate. Does it make me a bad mom? No. And it doesn't make you one either. You are not only defined by the word mother. You are in individual. You have needs too. Luckily your husband recognizes this and supports the fact that you need this time. Find someplace that more aligns to your ideals of a preschool or program. Maybe you need to find more than a MMO type of program. Those really are more of a babysitter type of thing. And, like everyone else said, don't be hard on yourself!

  6. We live in a strange world where moms are supposed to be all these things that they never were in the past! For most of human history, mothers were busy doing necessary things to keep the family/household/farm/whatever running--NOT "playing" with children, "encouraging creativity" and all those other things depicted in parenting magazines that "good" SAHM's do. I spend most of my at-home time doing practical/household things, not actively playing with my kids (it does help to have siblings who play together!). Some things we did yesterday, for example:

    Morning: walked Zari to school, got home and got the other kids dressed (Eric had to go to his tenure review meeting), got them out the door to run errands. Two of the times I left them in the car because it was really quick and we live in a small town. And it's winter, so it's a pain to get them in and out of their carseats with big coats on--as you know!

    So then I came home, got everyone fed (and checked email at the table while we were eating). Put Inga down for a nap and then put a movie on for Dio to watch. Yes, I do let him watch movies during naptime because we both need the quiet time. Otherwise TV is verboten around here, but I realize without guilt that I need that break during the day. So I checked email, transferred some Kindle files, and then started working on our huge interior repainting project during naptime. Right now we're still washing down all the baseboards and trim, because they need a fresh coat of paint before we do the walls. Anyway, after naps and once Zari was home from school, we gave all the kids washcloths and let them "help." That kept them busy for a while while the adults worked the rest of the afternoon. I also go up in our attic (huge family room/playroom/sewing area) and the kids play while I sew.

    All this to reinforce that you don't need to be actively "doing" things with/for your kids. It's exhausting and not at all realistic!

    One other observation and then I have to go get kids dressed: back in our graduate school days, we helped an Amish cabinetmaker twice a week for a few months; we were remodeling out kitchen and he let us do some of the gruntwork at his shop in exchange for a reduced price on the cabinets (which were amazing). Anyway, he had 5 little children and both he and his wife were busy working in the shop or household. They didn't "play" with their kids much, but instead went about their work and the kids played at their feet. One of the littlest ones, a boy probably around Sofia's age, often was playing in a pile of sawdust in the shop with his toy trucks. For kids, adult's work IS play. So don't feel bad if you're busy cooking, cleaning, organizing, or whatever. Just let Sofia join in if she can and get your stuff done!

  7. I was only a SAHM for the first year, I've been back to work (full-time) since March and I feel the same way as you in the sense that "I'm not doing enough" with or for her. My daughter is with grandparents 3 days a week & with her dad 1 day (I work 1 weekend day). So I have 3 days off - Sunday is our "family" day where we try to not "do" too much. Then Mondays & Tuesdays feel so packed that I hardly get to "play" with her. Luckily she loves to color, but I'm not crafty so I haven't tried to branch out to do anything else with her. Plus I'm just exhausted. She wakes up at 7:30 and we are lucky to be leaving the house fed & dressed by 9:45 for music class (or story time at the library, park, etc) and then I try to run ONE errand before running home for lunch & nap. During nap I'm rushing around the house trying to clean-up (put away laundry, check email, etc) that by the time she wakes up I'm exhausted and still have dinner to make. But of course she is grumpy pants and just wants momma since she misses me while I'm gone that it sucks. And then I feel like I suck for not taking more time with her and getting impatient. Heck she is only 20 months old & as smart as she is, there is only so much reasoning/explaining she can understand. I've just been trying to be more focused on her & let the house go to the birds.

    RE: your daycare/school situation, I would explore some other options &/or speak to the teachers...pretty soon Sofia will be telling you all the things she did at school and quite frankly I find watching TV there to be unacceptable. She should be doing activities or playing while there. I was feeling all sad and having a pity party for myself a few weeks ago, and then I got an email from my mom with a picture of them playing in the leaves outside and it made me so happy. I HATE yardwork and pay someone to do ours, so here is my daughter playing outside in the leaves, something she would NEVER get to do with me and it reconfirmed that it is okay that I work because she is spending REALLY quality time with her grandparents and doing fun things. Yes she watches more TV over there than I would like (they do have her ALL day though) but for the most part she is playing. I guess what I'm try to say is to look around because YOU need to feel good about the place you have Sofia in every week. And I think it is important for you to get some time for yourself.

    On that note, have you looked into joining any local MOPS groups? Or find a mom's group/playgroup? Every now & then I'll watch my friend's son for her to run some errands and vice versa. My mom's group actually set up a baby-sitting co-op where you "earn" baby-sitting hours by watching other people's kids. What is nice about that is they are of the age that they can parallel play & kind of entertain each other. I actually was able to bake a pie last time I watched her son!

  8. Hi, please take a breath and remember one day at a time! Sounds as if you are trying to be super mom and get it all done today and that's why you think you are failing, but not at all. I just heard recently that the best way to foster creativity in children is to read them fairytales. I'm sure you read to Sofia so you have a handle on that one already. As others have mentioned, Sofia will learn what she needs when she's ready. Take care of yourself and enjoy your baby girl. I'm thinking the holidays are also stressing you since this is the first year in your new home. Just my two cents!

  9. I don't have a kid, so I can't say that I've been there. But one of my closest friends is a SAHM for her 3 kids, and she talks about how hard it is all the time. She LOVES being there for everything, but the isolation gets to her too. So you're not alone. I DEFINITELY disagree with you on the fact that you're being a bad mom. You're trying things! She just doesn't like getting her hands dirty! Maybe give her a paint brush? Keep trying... you'll find something she likes!

    As for the school... I definitely think that you need to keep your YOU time. You need it. Everyone needs it. There's nothing wrong with that and it doesn't make you a bad mom. It makes you human. And being human is a good thing. Promise. Even if it makes you feel guilty. Which you shouldn't feel! Could you research and find a different school? One where you'd feel better leaving her?

    As for the cold weather... I've lived in Minnesota my entire life, and I still hate wearing mittens and coats. And don't even get me started on hats. They wreck your hair and make it static city. Not fun. So I get wanting to hibernate. But you'll slowly get used to it, and if she doesn't have a mitten on, I think she'll be ok. It's not like you're outside with her for 17 hours with no mitten. :)

    I love you friend! And these last two posts solidify that we need to drink wine together someday. :)

  10. I agree with what Rixa said.

    I think you should find a different place to take your child. My son has to be in day care two days a week so I can work on my home business (I also work evenings and weekends), and I wrung my hands and worried about where I'd send him. I couldn't get anyone in my area to recommend anyone who had any openings, so I got a list from a local place that a lot of day cares register with, and started calling around. The woman I found is AMAZING. No tv, lots of outside play, and she has a good instinct for letting kids play but not letting them hurt each other. She's one of the few people who would take a part time kid. In fact, I told her that our previous day care person said my son was having problems because he wasn't full time. She said, That's funny, because all the kids I watch are part time and none of them have any problems. She's not super crafty, but man, my kid loves the other kids there, loves the provider, and hates to leave.

    On the days that it's me and my son, sometimes I want to bang my head on the wall with how boring it is to try and entertain a toddler. So I don't bother. We do stuff instead! We run errands, we go to the park, etc. But I don't want to feel like I'm trying to entertain him because that's when my fantasies about driving away and never come back really start sounding fabulous.

    My husband interacts with my son better than I do, I think. My husband has our son help him with laundry and anything else that needs doing. My son loves to help! At this age, I think it's too early about trying to cultivate their inner genius. They're marveling at the simple wonders of the world, like the birds and the trees and the cars and the rocks. My son is REALLY attached and is just starting to be okay on his own, so the other day we went outside and I just sat back while he jumped in puddles. I didn't do it with him because I needed some space. And it was glorious to sit in the sun, watch my son, and occasionally check my email/FB on my phone. :)

    At this point, I personally wouldn't fight Sophia on the hat, gloves, and coat. She's not going to catch her death of cold by going from your house to the car without being bundled up.

    Lastly, I hate arts and crafts. I'm not good at them and I don't like them. I don't like getting my hands dirty either. So I don't do them. And I don't worry about it. There will be plenty of opportunity for my son to get his craft on. :)

    Hang in there! Despite feeling like a crappy mother, there's no other woman in the world who would do as good of a job with Sophia as you do. YOU are her mom and there's no one else in the world for her.

    (PS Our kids are the same age, my son still nurses, so I assume they're at similar places developmentally.)

  11. Oh, and you might want to read this: I've read it before, so even though it's just appearing at HP, I think it first appeared on her blog.

    1. Trish I was just coming back to post that link! Ditto :-) And thanks for originally sharing DDD with our group, one of my favorite blogs to read.

    2. I was also going to post that link! It's a great article. I just read it this morning.

  12. It's just hard sometimes. Even after getting out last night with my husband and leaving our son with friends, I was still *so* drained when he started crying at night and wouldn't put himself back to sleep unless he was cuddled in our bed getting his breastfeed on. I let him cry in his crib while I cried in our bed until my husband went to bring him to me. I was tired enough that the extra 3 minutes of personal space and alone time were worth it...even though I was miserable anyway! So I understand, and I commend Drew for getting you drunk.

    You're not a bad mom. I love my son and you love Sophia...but you're still a person who needs her space sometimes. And hey: I've got one who won't finger paint either. But he'll eat the hell out of some paint on a brush given the chance! It'll get there.

  13. I'm writing this before reading the other comments, just cuz.

    1)Don't take her out of the school. Those 4 hrs/week are priceless to you, and it's not like she's watching 4 solid hours of TV. If she watched 2hrs straight every day - there'd be a problem. A few minutes a couple times a week = no problem, and your sanity is worth it!

    2) My husband does bathtime EVERY NIGHT b/c HOLY SHIT I NEED THAT TIME ALONE. You are not the only Mom to feel like that. 7-7:30 every night is ME time while Daddy deals with the baby. You should get that too.

    3) So your kid doesn't like finger painting - so what? SO you haven't taught her the newest flash cards - so what? Talk her through what you're donig every day, and she is learning from you EVERY DAY.

    You are a good Mom. S is learning new things every day. It will all be okay.

    1. Oh ya, and unless you're going to be outside for a long time, screw the hat and gloves and coat and boots. Sophia won't die from 30 seconds of cold on the walk to the car. I've quit that battle, and we are all SO much happier.

  14. I read this last night and was just coming to post the same HP link. Its a must read. And I agree 110% with what Jennifer said. As a working mom with my kid in daycare I think she is spot on as far as the projects go. I love the "hand print art" but at the same time, I LOVE LOVED the Liberty Bell cut out that my daughter "painted" had like 3 gray streaks across it.

    Which brings me to my next point. Try the art project again w sophia, but give her paint brushes, sponges, leaves, cotton, apple slices, ect to dip in the paint and paint with.

  15. This might be the best post ever. :) I know you're not trying to entertain me, but FOR REAL, D!
    I just love you.
    Now, don't be that mom. Mothers (and fathers) tend to set the bar ridiculously high with that first baby. I know, I did it with Aidan. But girl, lower your expectations of yourself. You ARE teaching her. Every day you teach her how to be kind, and loving, and respond to another's needs, just by taking care of her. All you have to do is love her.....and don't let her watch 8 hours of TV a day. You're doing a great job! And the Mother's Day Out program....if you like your 2 hours, don't take her out. Are they stimulating her like a Montessori school? No. Are they giving you a much needed break? Yes. Could they do better? Probably. Is Sofia going to be scarred? No. Step back and look at this objectively. She doesn't need constant cultural enrichment. And even though that craft CRACKED ME UP, there will come a day when you have so many crafts actually made by Sofia, that you are sneaking them into the recycling bin. (I'm sorry, I just cannot save 25 pictures a day.) She is still a little bitty thing. Don't rush her. Let her veg. Enjoy her. Stop stressing about doing it wrong and enjoy her. I know it's a cliche, but "poof" and they're in kindergarten. Make up your own rules. Do not compare yourself to any other mothers/books/blogs.
    And wine is ALWAYS a good idea. And at Christmas, I find it's even acceptable to do shots of Bailey's while cooking dinner. Because I never believed this, but one of my best friends told me one day that it took a beer at 4:00 just to get her 3 kids off the bus. And I totally judged her for it. You know how this story ends. I AM THERE. ;)
    You're awesome. Go write it on your mirror or something.

  16. ok. So here's the thing. Sofia is a little kid right now. They flit from thing to thing. She doesn't need to be taught stuff- she's learning through exploration and play. If she's super intelligent, she's still going to be super intelligent if she watches a bit of tv so try not to stress. You might have caught the child care at a bad time, when all the kids were having a tough time concentrating on anything, so they put on a few minutes of tv. It's ok. Keep her in child care- it will do you wonders having those precious hours to yourself. Look at it as time out for you, rather than school for her, it's about the socialising right now for her- that's probably they most important thing she will be getting from any type of care outside the home at this age. Relax, have a drink and enjoy your baby. Switch off that part of you that thinks you're not doing enough for your child. I assure you, you are doing a FABULOUS job. Also i would not worry about getting her rugged up before hopping in the car. Not worth it. She will be fine in the time it takes to get into the car, and then you'll have the heating on. Fight that battle if you are going outside and staying there! If you're just then rushing from the car to an inside place again, just forgo all the bundling, you'll both be happier for it. You're a great mum. The end.


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